“No!” Damn it, I’m not in the mood for this crap today. “I’ll call you later.”
“Bye, Tully.” She hangs up, completely unaware that she’s just ruffled my feathers. I exhale heavily, knowing I need to call Brock.
I’ve felt sick since our fight this morning. Hopefully he isn’t already halfway back to Australia by now. I dial his number and he answers on the first ring.
“Hey, Pock,” he says sadly, and I instantly know he isn’t angry anymore.
“Brock, I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Yeah. Me, too, hey?”
“Where are you?” I ask.
“I’m in the hotel room.”
I smile and stare at the wall in front of me, letting the silence hang between us. “I’ll come back there now, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Oh.” My eyes widen. “Meredith called me.”
“What?”
“She called me just now. She said her grandma died and she had to take a road trip with her mother.”
“Thank fuck.” He sighs. “Where is she now?”
“At her apartment.”
“I’ll get straight on it. See you soon.”
I hang up and walk back into the hospital room to Simon’s face light up when he sees me. My heart drops, and I fill with sadness.
He deserves better than this.
Brock deserves better than this.
The term torn between two lovers has never rung as true as it does right now.
I love both men; one for what we were, and one for what we are. A future with either of them seems impossible.
I need to decide.
Brock
I hang up and stare at the phone in my hand for a moment.
She called.
I’m glad I didn’t get on the first plane home like I wanted to. I even called the airline to try and change my flight, but I knew that if I got on that plane it would have been it for Tully and me. I get that she wants to be here. I get that she cares about Simon’s welfare, but when she said the words don’t make me choose, I lost my shit. It never occurred to me that choosing between us was even an option for her. Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe I’m here in London making a fucking idiot of myself. Maybe I’ve given over a part of myself to her that was safer buried deep inside.
Stop it. She wouldn’t. I know she doesn’t love him, she loves me. I’m sure of it.
I call Ben’s number.
“Hey.”
“Hi. It’s me. Meredith is alive.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope, she just called Tully. Seems her grandma was sick, and she went on a road trip. Get a car around there and check on her, can you?”
“Okay, I’m on it.”
“Oh, and Ben…” I say.
“Yeah?” He listens.
“She’s got…” I pause as I try to articulate what I need to say. “She’s a bit out there. Not the norm kind of chick.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s smart as a whip but is socially awkward. She says random things at random times. Tully says she’s somewhere on the spectrum.”
He exhales heavily. “Fuck’s sake.” He thinks for a moment. “Well, how do I handle this? Can I question her?”
“I’d probably spend some time with her first and see if you can draw the information out slowly. I think if you go in with all guns blazing she’s just going to shut up shop.”
“Okay got it. I’ll get Jes onto it. He’s a softy. Everyone loves him.”
“Good idea,” I reply.
“When are you home?” he asks.
“Soonish.”
“Is Tully coming with you?”
“Who knows?” I sigh. “That’s a whole different fucking nightmare.”
“Just be patient, mate. She didn’t ask for this to happen.”
I exhale heavily. “Yeah, I know, I’m trying.”
“Okay, I’ll be in touch after I speak to Meredith,” he says. “Catch you.” He hangs up.
Half an hour later and there’s a knock at the door.
I smile, knowing she’s here. I open the door in a rush and Tully stands before me. She’s been crying, and my heart drops when I see her sad face.
“What’s wrong?” I frown.
Shit, did he die?
“Can we talk?” she mutters weakly.
I stare at her and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. “Sure.”
She walks past me into the room and I frown. What’s going on here?
“I’m sorry about this morning,” I say as my eyes hold hers. “I had no right to order you home. I don’t know what came over me.”
She smiles up at me. “Yes, you did. I’m your girlfriend. You had every right to order me home. I’m sorry I said you shouldn’t make me choose.” She runs her hands through her hair, as if uncomfortable. “That was wrong, and it most definitely wasn’t fair.”
I smile and go to take her into my arms but she pulls away.
“What’s going on?” I whisper.
Her eyes fill with tears. “I love you, you know I love you.”
Time stands still.
Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
“But, I need to be fair to everyone concerned,” she adds.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I begin to hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears.