Dinah stood, and Noa could feel the excitement dripping off her sister. Dinah only ever wanted the children cared for and educated, a place for them to simply be safe. “Noa? You coming?”
“No,” Noa said. “You go ahead.” Dinah nodded slowly. She wore a suspicious expression, but, too eager to see the kids’ potential home, she and Gabriel left the office. As Maria stood to follow them too, Noa asked, “He strangles you? Raphael.” Maria froze, a bright blush instantly coating her pale cheeks.
“Not to cause me pain,” she replied after a few silent seconds, her voice steady. Noa tried to assess the small woman, but she was difficult to read. Noa went to ask her more, but Maria beat her to it. “My relationship with Raphael may not be the norm—far from it. But I love him beyond words, and he loves me.” Her chin lifted high, proud to love a killer as she did, and Noa nodded in approval of Maria’s fight.
Maria went to leave the room but paused beside Noa. Maria’s blue gaze fell to Noa’s dark brown stare. “None of the Fallen men are as tough as you may think—” Maria shook her head. “I apologize. You have been put through unspeakable things too. I have no right to cast judgment your way or even assume anything about your past.”
Noa raised her eyebrow. Maria sighed. “What I am trying to say is I have been around them all long enough to know some of who they are. And I know Raphael inside and out. He and his brothers may be hardened by the abuse they faced, may use their love of killing to show the world that they are tough and strong and need nothing from anybody. But inside … deep down inside, they are still the hurt little boys who were orphaned, then plunged into an unimaginable hell. By people who were meant to protect them.” Maria’s heavy-weighted but softly spoken words pulsed in the air around them.
Then Noa flinched as Maria covered her hand with her own. Noa stared at that pale hand holding hers and felt something in her heart begin to crack. She quickly stopped that crack before it could get too wide and rip her chest open. Noa yanked her hand back and placed it on her knee. Maria didn’t seem offended by the refusal of her attempt at kindness.
“I am here for you too, Noa,” Maria said. “For all of your sisters. I do not know what you went through at the hands of the Brethren, but I know what it is to be taken from your family and hurt by people who have nothing but wickedness in their souls.”
Maria smiled, and Noa felt that genuine smile like a punch to the gut. “Even if all you need is silent company or an ear to listen to your troubles, I’m here. It’s nice to have sisterhood back in my life.” She pushed back her extremely long hair. “I may not be a practicing novitiate anymore, but I still take my teachings seriously. I still live to serve, albeit on a road rough in terrain and far less traveled. But there is nothing you could confess that could turn me from you. If you are to be part of our family, I want you to know that my door is always open to you. This is an estate filled with survivors, warriors who have made it through a bloody war.” Maria’s gaze shone. “But not even the strongest among us can fight through something like that and not be somewhat wounded. Talking can help.”
With that, Maria left the office … and sent Noa reeling. Had anyone in her life ever offered her anything simply out of the goodness of their heart? Noa’s eyes closed as she tried to calm her thundering pulse. But not even the strongest among us can fight through something like that and not be somewhat wounded. She felt her hand shaking on her thigh and gritted her teeth when a flash of a memory came barreling into her mind … Noa, sitting on an older woman’s lap, tarot cards spread around them, a fragrant cup of tea in her hand, and a blazing fire before them, keeping them warm.
An ember of the warmth from that fire broke from Noa’s memory and flooded her body. She smelled lavender and patchouli drifting around her like a soothing aura. She saw the moon full and blue and high in the sky, felt fresh grass under the soles of her feet. There was soft, rhythmic chanting around them, and then the woman began to sing about the wind and rain. But the warmth in Noa’s body cooled as that softly singing voice cut to a deafening scream, filled with pain and fear. Then came the low tone of violent male voices …