I’m climbing higher, higher, higher, when I feel something hot and slightly damp wrap around my nipple. My eyes shoot open to see Asher drawing the tiny bud into his mouth through my tank top. And just like that, I come apart. He holds me in place through my orgasm as he continues to suck until I’m shuddering and shaking in his arms.
I’m practically panting as he uses his palm to brush the sweaty hair off my face and leans in to kiss the damp skin of my neck.
“Thank you,” I say dumbly. Because what else can I say after that?
“I’m going to hell.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong,” I say honestly, laying my head on his shoulder, feeling so content that I could fall asleep and stay here forever.
“You didn’t do a damn thing wrong. I did. You don’t understand it now. But you will look back at this some day and see it for what it is.”
“And what is that, exactly?” I ask, feeling my temper rising.
“A man who just took advantage of a fucking child,” he spits, looking up at the vaulted ceiling.
“That’s bullshit. Don’t do that.”
“Do what, Bry? It’s the truth.”
“Don’t act as if I didn’t practically throw myself at you. That I’m too young to make my own decisions. You didn’t take advantage of me. You didn’t take anything. You gave.”
“The only thing I gave you is false hope. You know this can’t ever leave this room. If Dash knew…”
“Why would I tell my brother about hooking up with anyone? I know this doesn’t make you my boyfriend. I’m not that naïve. But maybe when I’m eighteen…”
“This shouldn’t have happened,” Asher says, grabbing me by my hips and lifting me off him. He stands and reaches for one of Dash’s T-shirts lying on top of his dresser. “It’s wrong,” he says once again.
“Yes, Asher, tell me again how wrong I am for you. I don’t think you’ve gotten your point across.” I roll my eyes, sarcasm dripping from every word.
He pulls the plain black shirt over his head, and I watch his muscles flex with the movement. I gulp. Asher’s growl has my eyes snapping back up to his.
“Stop looking at me like that, Briar,” he warns, his voice lethal and low.
“Like what?” I ask, feigning innocence.
“Like you want what I can’t give you.”
“The only thing I want is for you to stay.”
“I have to tell you something,” he says, changing the subject.
“What is it?” And why does it feel like he’s about to end our nonexistent relationship?
“I got a scholarship,” he says, his mouth twitching at the corner in an almost-smile. “A full ride.”
“Are you serious?” I squeal, my frustration from a minute ago all but gone. I’m more excited for him than I’ve been about anything in my entire life. I knew he was applying, but he told me it was impossible for swimmers to get a full ride. “That’s amazing, Ash!”
I throw my arms around his neck, but there’s nothing sexual about it this time. Just genuine pride and happiness for him. Ash is one of the best people I know, and he deserves an opportunity to live a life as good as he is. I pull back, scanning his face. He’s not easily excitable, but I expected more enthusiasm than this.
“What is it? What else aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s in Georgia.”
For the second time tonight, I feel like that time I fell on the playground in the fourth grade and got the wind knocked out of me. “What?”
“I leave in four months.”
I nod, caught between two warring emotions. I’m elated for him, but I’m sad for me. He untangles our limbs and sits on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, avoiding eye contact.