“Oh.” He scratches at the back of his neck. “Three squeezes for I love you. Four for I love you, too.”
That might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. We’re silent the rest of the way back. I reach for Sebastian’s hand, and surprisingly, he takes it. When we get to the bunkhouse, we don’t waste any time jumping into our bubble, also known as Sebastian’s bunk, not even bothering to take our clothes off.
Sebastian faces me, wrapping a palm around the back of my neck before fusing his lips to mine. The kiss is long and slow and full of emotion. My hand finds his face, cupping his scruffy jaw. When he pulls back, there’s a look in his eyes that I haven’t seen before.
“I don’t get to choose, Evan. But you do.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, my stomach flipping with nerves.
“It means, now you know why I’ve been holding back. But I won’t do it anymore. If you don’t want this, you have to be the one to walk away.”
“What if I can’t?” I whisper into the dark.
“Then we’re both masochists.”
I wake up hot in Sebastian’s arms, both of us still fully clothed. Sebastian snores softly, looking like a young boy in his sleep, not yet hardened by reality. Today’s slough day, so technically, I don’t have any place to be. Dropping a kiss to the scar on his lip, I climb out of the bunk, tiptoeing to the bathroom. After I’ve emptied my bladder and brushed my teeth, I quietly creep to my suitcase to change into something more comfortable. Sleeping in jeans should be illegal. As I’m digging through my stuff, I realize I don’t see my music box anywhere.
“That’s weird,” I whisper to myself. I know it was in here. I dump the contents out, looking through every article of clothing and inside every pocket. Nothing. Trying not to worry, I tell myself that Sebastian probably stashed it somewhere safe again. I quickly shrug off my jeans out in the open, knowing none of the guys would be up this early, before throwing on a pair of yoga pants and crawling back into Sebastian’s arms.
ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER CITY. I thought after certain revelations that things would be different with Sebastian and me. And they have, in some ways, I guess. He’s not as guarded. We still sleep together every night, but he’s subdued. Distant and distracted. On edge and lost in his own thoughts. It feels like something is coming, but I don’t know what.
I think a lot about his family curse, and while it scares me to think of anything happening to him, it only makes me want to make the most of our time together. Time is something no one should take for granted. A bus could hit me tomorrow, for all I know. And that’s how I choose to look at this so-called curse. It might happen. It probably won’t. But I don’t want to have any regrets when it’s all said and done.
The fact that he hasn’t tried to have sex with me tells me he’s still holding back for some reason. I tell myself that it has nothing to do with me, but my pride has taken a hit. Especially now, as I stand hidden inside the Vixens’ tent, watching Selina trying her best to get Sebastian’s attention. He’s at a table with Eros, Lathan, and Tres. I asked him to meet me here, but I didn’t know he’d bring the whole gang. Selina’s in the middle of her act. A slow and seductive version of “I Put a Spell on You” wafts from the speakers as she dances in nothing but a red thong, two, giant feather fans the only things covering her breasts.
Sebastian isn’t paying her attention. His head is bowed, looking at his phone—probably texting me to ask where I am. Ever since that night Selina locked me in the trailer, he’s had his phone on him a lot more. I haven’t seen Selina since, and looking at her now makes me want to stab her with the heels I borrowed from Kat.
“You couldn’t have picked a better night,” Kat says from beside me. “He’s not going to know what hit him.”
Selina saunters down off the platform, heading right for Sebastian.
“What is she doing?” Kat asks, her voice raising an octave. “That’s not part of her routine.” Before I can respond, she’s sprinting off toward the stage.
My face heats with anger. I was all nerves, especially seeing all four of the guys in the front row, but now, all I feel is determined. Determined to show Selina who Sebastian belongs to and determined to make Sebastian’s self-control snap.
Selina sits on Sebastian’s lap, waving her fans around before she drops them to the ground. The crowd roars and she smiles seductively, reaching for Sebastian’s face, but he snatches her wrist in his hand before she makes contact. Even from all the way back here, I can tell by his body language that he doesn’t want her near him, but it doesn’t stop her from thrusting her chest in his face.
Just when I’m about to explode with jealousy, the music cuts short. Selina stands, looking around, confused, and then Kat’s taking the stage, microphone in hand. I look over toward the sound booth in the corner. The usual guy is nowhere to be seen and in his place is Miles, tossing me a wink.
“Let’s hear it for Selina,” Kat’s saccharine sweet voice drifts from the stage, like she didn’t just sabotage her set. The audience applauds, and I can tell Selina wants to throw a tantrum of epic proportions, but she simply gives a tight smile before taking a bow.
“You’re in for a real treat tonight. Please welcome, the beautiful, never-before-seen, Evangeline!”
I see Sebastian stiffen upon hearing my name, and my stomach flips with both apprehension and anticipation. Swallowing my nerves, I make my way toward the stage. Sebastian catches my gaze, jaw clenched tight as he takes in my black bra, thong, and garter belt, eyes promising retribution for what I’m about to do.
“Pure” by Hey Violet starts playing, and I slowly sway my hips to the beat. Bringing my hands up to the sides of my bra, I flatten them against my chest, down my stomach before sliding them down my thighs, bending my knees, thighs spread wide. Sebastian glares at me through cold eyes as I pop my ass out before bringing myself upright. The girl sings about washing away all of her pure until she’s cured, and that’s exactly what I want Sebastian to do. I want him to stop holding back and give me everything.
Turning away from the audience, I bend at the waist, giving them a prime view of my ass as I move it back and forth. I flip my hair, looking over my shoulder, and Sebastian looks absolutely murderous. He hasn’t seen anything yet. Turning back around, I walk off the platform, sidling up to him. Running my index finger across his chest, I circle his chair, keeping my hand on him all the while. My back to his front, I fit myself between his spread legs, leaning back into his chest. My hands braced on his knees, I push my ass into his crotch, and he grips the side of my hip so hard I know it’ll bruise.
; “Watch it,” he warns. “You don’t want to fuck with me tonight.”
Challenge accepted.
Using him as a chair, I sit back on his tense thighs. Stretching one leg out in front of me, I let Kat’s high heel slip off my foot before peeling down my fishnet stocking, then follow suit with the other one.
“I mean it, Evan. Don’t push me.”