He lifts a shoulder. “I’m ready.”
“Talk to me,” I murmur, running my fingers through Thayer’s hair that’s still damp from his shower. His head is on my chest, his arm hooked around me, holding me close. Christian left a couple hours ago with the promise to turn himself in tomorrow. I think I’m still in a state of shock, so I can’t even imagine how Thayer must feel. Selfishly, I’m scared he’s going to shut down and push me away again. I don’t want to fall asleep, afraid I’ll wake up tomorrow and everything will have changed.
“I should’ve known. I should’ve seen something,” he says, sounding like he’s on the brink of sleep.
“You couldn’t have,” I say. “And it’s time to stop blaming yourself.”
It’s somewhat comforting that Danny wasn’t killed in cold blood, but somehow, I don’t think that would be the right thing to say. Thayer doesn’t respond, and eventually, I hear his breathing even out, telling me he fell asleep.
Thayer
Shayne’s body is like a furnace against me when I wake up. Her back is to my chest and both my arms are locked around her upper arms, like I was holding onto her, even in my sleep. I expected to feel like shit when I woke up after last night’s revelations, but instead I feel…free. Like maybe I can finally move on now that I know what happened to my brother, even if it meant losing my cousin.
Shayne stirs in my arms, arching her back on a stretch, and then she turns in my arms to face me, sleepy, blue eyes meeting mine.
“You’re still here,” she says, her voice raspy with sleep.
I pick up her wrist, bringing it to my lips to kiss the scar there. “Where else would I be?”
Shayne
4 months later…
Opening the door to my room, I toss my backpack onto my bed, noticing an envelope on my pillow. I round the bed, plucking it off from the comforter. Shaking it, I feel something heavier than paper inside. I open it, finding the rusted barn key and a note.
Meet me in the barn.
Excitement swirls inside my stomach. After some convincing, Thayer went back to school. It’s a miracle he wasn’t dropped from his classes with how little he actually attended. Even with the distance, we manage to see each other several times a week, but I didn’t think I’d get to see him today. Not wasting any time, I turn back around, grabbing an envelope of my own off my desk and stuffing it into the back of my denim shorts before I sprint through the house, avoiding the moving boxes that line the halls.
We’ve still got a couple months left in this house, but we had to get an early start on packing, especially with all the stuff my grandmother collected. Somewhere in one of those boxes is the name, address, and phone number belonging to my father. Turns out, that was who my mom was with that night. He wants to meet me, but I haven’t decided what I want to do yet, so she stuck his information in an envelope for me to open when I’m ready. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like something’s missing. I’ve never felt so whole. And it’s not only because of Thayer, but I have Holden and Grey back, too. If only the three of them could come to terms with the fact that they’re half-brothers, life would be pretty much perfect. But for now, baby steps.
I take off through the woods that are lush and green now that the snow has melted, heading for the barn. We haven’t been out here in a while now that we don’t have to hide, and I’ve missed it. I slow my steps once I get closer, noticing something different. The wood looks newer, and it doesn’t look like it’s on the verge of collapsing.
“Thayer?” I call out, pushing the door open, finding him standing there in his signature black shirt and jeans with his hands stuffed into his front pockets. “Oh my God,” I say, not believing my eyes. Everything looks brand new. There’s an actual floor for one, and two couches—the original one and a new one—with blankets and pillows thrown across them. A coffee table sits in between them, and twinkle lights hang from the rafters above.
Thayer walks toward me, scratching the back of his neck. “What do you think?”
“I love it,” I say, meeting him halfway. Everything is all fixed up. I bet the roof doesn’t even leak anymore. It’s still our barn, just cozier. And definitely cleaner. Thayer takes my hand, pulling me over to the old couch before he sits down, tugging me onto his lap. I sit on his thighs with my knees on either side of his legs, and his palms grip my thighs.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I say, leaning in to press my lips to his. “This is amazing.” I look up at the lights, my hands braced on his sho
ulders. “But why?”
“I fell in love with you here.” He leans forward to kiss the column of my neck, causing goosebumps to prick my arms. “It’s where you told me you loved me.” Another kiss. This time to my collarbone. “Where I felt you from the inside for the first time,” he says, his hands sliding around to squeeze my ass. “And I’ll probably fucking end up marrying you here one day, too.”
I bite down on my lip, trying not to cry as he sucks and licks the sensitive skin on my neck. A vision of a sixteen-year-old Thayer on the day we met pops into my mind, his brooding yet curious eyes inspecting me as I slipped inside the barn to get out of the rain.
It was my third day living at Whittemore, and I was bored, exploring the property when I stumbled upon it. I hadn’t even met Thayer before then, and I was fascinated with him from the moment I saw him. Who would’ve thought we’d end up here?
“I love you,” I say, my fingers tracing the tattoo on his shoulder. “I love you so much it hurts sometimes.”
“I love you,” he says, his hands sliding up my back, hitting the envelope sticking out of my pants. “What’s this?”
I smile, almost having forgotten. “I have something for you, too. Open it.”
His eyebrows cinch together as he opens the envelope, pulling the letter out. His eyes scan the paper, and I see the moment realization sets in.