“Ry, he’s my teacher. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Remi. House. Now.”
“She’s not a dog, man.” At that, Ryan lunges at Mr. James, but I manage to jump in between them before he makes contact. My hands are on his chest, and I know he could flick me away like an insect, but he doesn’t. His breaths are coming out short and fast through his nose, and I know I need to diffuse the situation before he loses control. Once again.
Tick, tick, tick.
“Ry, take me inside.” My voice is steady and calm, belying the anxiety swirling in my gut. He doesn’t answer me. Ryan seems to be shooting daggers out of his eyes while Mr. James appears almost bored.
“Yo. Let’s go.” Ryan’s arm wraps
around my hip possessively, and I know I’ve gotten through.
“Don’t touch my fucking girl again. Don’t talk to her. Don’t even look at her unless she’s in class. I won’t tell you again.”
I lead Ryan toward the house, and this time, he lets me. Reed tags along behind us. After we’re inside, he goes straight for the fridge and grabs another beer. I set my backpack on the kitchen counter and look out the window, only to lock eyes with Mr. James. He’s leaning against his car, arms crossed over his chest, and a scowl on his face. I bite my lip and look back at Ryan who is already firmly planted on the couch next to Reed, downing another beer, oblivious to our little staring contest.
“Thank you,” I mouth silently. Mr. James nods once and heads back to the driver’s side. Despite the drama, I feel a smile tugging at my lips. He feels something. He has to.
“What the fuck are you so happy about? I mean it, Rem. Stay the fuck away from him. He’s bad news.” At that, I have to laugh.
“He’s bad news? You’re the one who bailed on me, leaving me to find my way home, and for what? To get drunk with this asshole in the middle of the day?” I fling my arm in Reed’s direction. “No offense, Reed.”
He burps and wiggles his eyebrows. “None taken.”
“It was just a ride. And stop telling people I’m yours. It’s creepy.”
“It’s the fucking truth,” he seethes. “And I had a change of plans. Shit happens, Rem, and believe it or not, my life doesn’t revolve around you.” I wish that were true.
“Dick,” I mumble and turn back to the kitchen.
I make myself a turkey sandwich, grab a water bottle, and head to my room for the night. I’m not making dinner for those fuckers. I have a feeling they’re drinking their dinner tonight, anyway.
I wake up to rough hands pawing at my chest through my tank top and the scent of beer invading my nostrils. “Ryan, stop,” I croak out—my voice still groggy from sleep—as I throw an elbow into his gut. These middle-of-the-night meetings are becoming more frequent, and it’s equal parts irritating and alarming.
“C’mon, Rem. I need it.” I feel his hard-on pressing into my ass, and I wiggle away.
“You’re drunk. Get out of my bed.”
“Make me,” he slurs as he flips me onto my back and pins me with his weight. “Have you been giving this sweet little body to your teacher, Rem? Is that why you don’t want me anymore? That pretty boy can’t make you feel like I can. Let me show you.” He starts tugging at my sleep shorts, and that’s what has me snapping out of my sleepy haze.
“Get off me!” I thrash beneath him and manage to heave his drunk ass off me, and he lands on the floor with a resounding thud.
“Fuck, Rem!” he yells, still laid out on the tiny space between the wall and my bed. I know he could easily overpower me and take what he wants, but he doesn’t. He won’t. I know deep down, Ryan would never hurt me like that. He pounds his fist into my wall three times before standing up and storming out. I don’t even say a word. I stare at the ceiling, wondering how we got to this point. My stepbrother, best friend, and childhood hero has turned into someone I don’t even recognize. Every pivotal moment in our lives plays out in my head, and I dissect them all—wondering what we could’ve done differently—until the sun comes up. When it does, I’ve come to two conclusions. And it’s nothing I didn’t already know.
Ryan needs help, and I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ryan was gone all weekend, and my dad called to let me know that he was picking up another route, so I was home alone. Extreme boredom had me calling Christian, and he came to my rescue. I spent two full days drinking poolside in a house more gorgeous and luxurious than I ever knew existed. His parents weren’t home, so we had access to their endless supply of alcohol. Christian seemed to need the distraction about as much as I did, but we had an unspoken agreement. Don’t ask; don’t tell. I decided to save my interrogation for Monday, which is today.
I expect to have to drag Ryan out of bed to take me to school after I get ready, but to my surprise, he’s pacing the hall outside my door, fisting his greasy hair with both hands.
“I’m sorry, Rem. I’m sorry I’m fucked up.” He pulls me in for a hug, and I revel in the familiarity. No matter how unstable he becomes, I think his arms will always feel like safety to me. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s certainly not healthy, but it’s us. I run my hand up and down his back in a soothing manner, and he keeps talking.
“I’ve got the weight of the world on my back. I don’t know how to fix things. The things I’ve done…” he trails off. He’s rambling, not making any sense. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest, and his eyes look crazed.
“What do you mean? What did you do?” Ice fills my veins. As if he suddenly realizes what he said, he stands up straight and disconnects from me.
“Come on. You’re gonna be late for school,” he says, effectively changing the subject. I nod slowly, not knowing what to say or do for him, and grab my backpack off the counter. I stuff a banana and a water bottle into my bag and head outside.