But I know that’s not true. I know he feels something for me. I may question the “why” of it all, but I don’t question the fact that Graham wants this. He’s not the kind of man who would come up with an elaborate plan to seduce a teenage girl. He doesn’t have to. Not a straight female on this earth would deny him, and I’m betting like 90 percent of the lesbian population would take a ride on that deep-V diver. Like the fucking savage that he is, Graham takes what he wants. And right now, he wants me.
I stretch my arms above my head and some mix between a moan and a yawn comes out when I roll over. I’m so sore between my legs but I like it. It’s going to be a constant reminder that I just let my step-dad take my virginity, as if I needed one.
I stand up to walk to the bathroom and feel something trickle down the inside of my thigh. I look down and freeze when I see his pink-tinged come and remember that he came inside of me. We didn’t fucking use a condom. It didn’t even occur to me… I’ve never done this before! But Graham… this wasn’t his first rodeo. Oh my god. What if he never uses condoms? What if he isn’t clean?
Calm your tits, Dahl. Graham is way too careful for that shit.
Deep down, I don’t honestly think he would just go spreading his seed around the world, but I can’t stop the thought from entering my brain.
I’m not super worried about pregnancy because even though I’ve never actually had sex, my mom insisted that I take birth control since I started my first period. Maybe she was looking out for me, or maybe she just didn’t want another mouth to feed. Either way, right now, I’m thankful for her.
I look down at my snow-colored sheets and I expect there to be more of a mess. Aren’t you supposed to bleed when you lose your virginity? Maybe that’s a myth. There’s a tiny pink dot, but other than that, nothing. Not that I’m complaining. That evidence would be hard to hide.
After freshening up in the bathroom, I check my phone and have a million missed calls and texts from Jade. I should probably call her back before she shows up at my door. The phone doesn’t even ring one full time before she answers.
“Hang on, I’m getting snacks and my Snuggie for this conversation,” she greets me.
“Really,” I deadpan. “Why are you so dramatic?”
“Um…it’s not every day my BFF loses her virginity to the hottest, most badass man I’ve ever seen up close. Did you S his D? Did he lick your B? Oh my god, did he go ass-to-mouth? You never go ass to mouth.”
“Jesus,” I sigh, squeezing the bridge of my nose. This bitch.
“Right. Baby steps. Tell me you actually went through with it.”
“I am officially de-virginized,” I announce triumphantly. She squeals in my ear and I cringe away from my phone.
“Was it big? Is he circumcised? Did it curve to the left?” Nosiest chick on the planet, this one.
I feel my face heat as I think back to last night.
“He’s… huge. I mean, obviously I don’t have a ton to compare it to, but I feel like a coke can would’ve been an easier fit.” Jade erupts in a fit of giggles and it’s contagious. I’m trying not to laugh but I give up and fall backwards on my bed, grabbing the pillow he slept with, trying to catch a hint of his scent like a creep.
“God, Jade, it was perfect. How many people can say that about their first time? I actually came. Twice. I thought that was pretty much impossible. Especially as he’s so big and thick. But Graham…he’s just such a man, you know? Not these stupid fuckboys at school. He knew my body better than I did.”
I squeeze my legs together, feeling the emptiness he left behind.
“I want him to come home and do it all over again.”
“You little slut!” I hear Jade say at the same time someone from my doorway says, “That can be arranged.”
Oh God. He heard me.
I slap a hand over my mouth and blink away my embarrassment, scooting to the edge of the bed to sit straight like I’m some kid being punished. And boy, a part of me wants him to punish me in more ways than one. I glare at him through heavy-lidded eyes, at his posture, so strong, tall and intimidating, and at his brooding expression. He’s wearing one of his expensive, sharp Prada suits, one hand tucked into his pocket, and looks like a million dollars. No, wait. Make it three million.
“Is that him? Did you just get busted?” Jade chirps from the receiver, and I momentarily snap out of my lust-fest and clear my throat. “Oh my god, you’re so grounded. I mean pounded.” she lets out an unattractive snort.
I’m still frozen in embarrassment. He swaggers over to me, one hand still tucked in his pocket, and plucks the phone out of my hand.
“She’ll call you back,” he says with a straight face before hanging up and tossing the phone on the far end of my bed. There’s a beat in which he looks over at me, standing up, and I see how small I am and how big he is. I don’t
just mean it physically, but also metaphorically. He is my everything, and I’m completely blindsided by his new role.
So powerful. So gorgeous. So mine.
“Where’ve you been?” I ask, biting my lower lip shyly.
“I went to check on our friend, Shawn.” He reaches for my chin, tilting it up so our eyes lock. My heart races against my ribcage and I feel the same familiar feeling I always have when he’s around. My stomach does somersaults and I feel light-headed.