My life began to change, but one thing stayed the same.
Conway.
I still missed him.
I resented him for throwing us away. His work was more important than I would ever be, and holding on to pure, physical lust was better than intimate passion. Lust would always conquer love, and if I ever wanted him back, I would have to accept a loveless relationship.
But I couldn’t pretend anymore.
This time, I knew he wasn’t coming back. He came for me once, but when I didn’t compromise, he got on his private jet and left me behind forever. I appreciated that he had been worried about me, especially after the way he’d kicked me out of his house in the middle of the night.
But now we were really over.
I went to the studio almost every day, and Andrew asked for my input on all of his designs. He kept hoping I’d absorbed some of Conway’s genius so I would be able to pass it on to him, but even if I had, I would never share. I just told him things I liked, which fabrics hugged my skin better. We hadn’t done a show yet, but he seemed to care more about photography, putting us in ads in magazines and in store windows.
When I saw my picture in the window of one of his lingerie shops in Manhattan, it was a little strange. It wasn’t the same thing as looking in a mirror. My image had been changed a little, my appearance tweaked with a computer.
Nox and I hung out pretty often. He was my only friend in the city, and I enjoyed his company. He was easy to talk to, friendly, and super-hot. Sometimes we went for a walk in the park or grabbed dinner. He never tried to push for anything more, not after I told him how I felt about Conway. He never asked about him either.
After work one afternoon, we walked through the park as the sun started to set.
“Let’s get our ten thousand steps in for the day then grab some food.” He walked beside me in dark jeans and a long-sleeved deep blue shirt. The cold didn’t seem to affect me as much as it affected him. Like Conway, Nox’s built physique protected him from the cold. “Where do you want to go?”
“I have limited options, unfortunately.” No carbs before bed. And nothing with too much fat or calories. Most of my dinners were comprised of fish and vegetables. Salmon was packed with protein and nutrition, so that was my first choice. Ever since I’d changed my eating habits, I’d slimmed down almost immediately. The five pounds I was looking to lose came off within the first month. Now I was just maintaining.
“Man, that’s hard. I couldn’t do what you do.”
“You have a strict diet too.” He wouldn’t look like that if he didn’t watch what he ate.
“Yeah, but I have more wiggle room than you. I need calories. You’re the opposite. Want to try that seafood place again?”
“If you don’t mind.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, the affection playful more than romantic. “Of course, I don’t mind. It’s the price you pay when you’re friends with a supermodel.”
“I’m not a supermodel,” I reminded him.
He scoffed. “Yes, you are. Come on, you’re gorgeous. I can only name a few models off the top of my head, but you’ve sky-rocketed to celebrity almost instantly. And only supermodels do that.”
Unfortunately, people recognized me when I went places. Sometimes people wanted a picture of me, and others wanted an autograph. I didn’t consider myself to be a successful person, so I didn’t know why people wanted those things, but I wasn’t going to be rude and say no.
“How was work today?”
“Good. We’re setting up a shoot in a disco bowling alley. A little different, but Andrew thinks it’ll attract the attention of the average customer. Making it relatable, almost funny.”
“That’s cool. Will you be traveling anytime soon?”
“He hasn’t mentioned any shows, so it doesn’t seem like it. That’s fine with me. I want to stay in one place for a while.” The idea of traveling back to Milan sounded like a nightmare. I couldn’t be in that city without being wrecked by emotion. “What did you do today?”
“I went to the gym in the morning, and then I played a few rounds of golf at the country club.”
“I didn’t know you golfed.”
“I do pretty well. You wanna play sometime?” he asked.
“I’ve never golfed before.”
“I can teach you.”
We finished our walk through the park before we went to dinner. Anytime Nox and I hung out, we went out to dinner or the gym. He never invited me over, and I didn’t either. Since we were just friends, it seemed like we should do stuff outside the house—not behind closed doors.
“So, how’s Operation Get Over Conway?” he asked at the end of the meal.