I slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans and admired her trim body. She was beautiful, perfect like she was when she’d left my home. With her pretty eyes glued to my face, I didn’t know where to start. “I’ve been trying to call you for a while.”
Her arms tightened, and her gaze remained as cold as ever. “It didn’t work here, so I got rid of it.”
I gave a slight nod. “I was really worried about you…I searched everywhere for you.”
“If you were that worried, maybe you shouldn’t have thrown me out in the middle of the night.” She didn’t raise her voice, but her clipped tone showed her heavy resentment.
I didn’t have a comeback to that because she was totally right. My temper peaked, and I lost control of my faculties. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. I wish I could take it back.”
“You can’t, Conway. There are some things you can’t take back…that’s one of them.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, her anger burning me all the way down to the bone. I didn’t have a rebuttal because there was nothing that could justify my behavior. It didn’t matter how pissed I had been. “I want you to know I’m sorry…even if that means nothing to you. I haven’t slept much because I’ve been so terrified that something happened to you. I had all my guys combing the streets for you. My life has been flipped upside down. The rare times that I could sleep, I had nightmares that Knuckles got you. If you think I’ve just returned to my former life, I haven’t. I’ve done nothing but suffer this entire time.”
Her eyes shifted to the floor.
“I asked Carter to help me find you. He saw your photo in Vogue. That’s how I tracked you down here.”
She still didn’t give a reaction.
I glanced around the apartment again. “Andrew is treating you well?”
“Yes,” she said coldly. “He hasn’t made me his prisoner.”
I deserved that.
“He offered me three hundred million for a ten-year contract.”
Even I had to react to a sum like that. My eyes dilated and my pulse quickened.
“So I’ll pay you back for saving me from Knuckles. I don’t want to owe you anything.”
“You don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
I’d pay that money again in a heartbeat to keep her safe. “I won’t take it, so don’t bother. We’re square.”
She shifted her weight to one leg, still closed off from me.
“I like your place.”
“Thanks…”
Now our conversation came to a halt. It was tense and awkward, and there wasn’t much to say. This woman was such an important part of my life, and now she was a stranger. She used to share my bed with me every single night. Now my big bed felt even bigger than before.
She lowered her arms to her sides and sighed. “Now that you know I’m alright, you should go. We both have important lives to return to.”
I’d said what I wanted to say, and now I had no business being there. But I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stare at her face forever. I didn’t want to return to my mansion in Italy, not when I was the only one to enjoy it.
She looked at me, her disappointment obvious. “Go.”
Instead of walking to the door, I walked up to her. I stopped when our faces were close together. When she didn’t take a step back, I knew there was something still between us. “I’m miserable without you.”
She took a deep breath and held it, her beautiful eyes slightly glossy.
“I hate what I did. I don’t want you to think you don’t mean anything to me…because that’s not true. These past three weeks have been some of the worst of my life, if not the worst.” My hands moved to her hips, and when she didn’t resist me, I felt a surge of hope in my chest. “I lost my temper, and I shouldn’t have treated you that way. It was stupid…really fucking stupid.” I pressed my forehead against hers.
She let me touch her. She rested her arms on mine, her breathing quickened.
I thought I would forget about her the second she was off my property, but I’d thought about her more when she was gone than when she was around. My chest felt hollow because all my joy had been stripped away. I felt lost, like I would never find happiness ever again. Now that she was in my arms again, I felt better. “Please forgive me, Muse.”
She closed her eyes when I said her nickname, the name I always should have been calling her. There was no reason the name Sapphire should have escaped my mouth. It didn’t even sound right on my tongue. I felt repulsive saying it out loud.
“Conway…I don’t care about giving you my forgiveness.”
My hand slid into her hair, and I cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing across the soft skin. I missed touching her this way, missed feeling her warmth. I hadn’t gotten laid in almost a month, and while I missed the sex, I missed this a lot more—the intimacy. She was the only woman I showed any vulnerability with. She was the only woman who had earned my kiss.