Divine in Lingerie (Lingerie 9)

I didn’t belong anywhere.

An hour later, the front door opened, and Bones’s heavy footfalls sounded against the tiled floor.

I stared at the half empty bottle of scotch, my stomach warm from all the booze I’d just consumed.

Bones stopped in the kitchen, staring at me with his irritated gaze.

I didn’t look at him. “Where were you?”

He held his silence, his disapproval filling the air. After pausing at the kitchen counter, he walked to the table and snatched the bottle from the surface. He examined the contents, calculating how much I’d drunk. “Don’t pull this stunt, Vanessa. You’re better than that.”

“I’m better than that?” I asked incredulously. “I can’t even remember a time when I’ve seen you drink water.”

“Because I never have.” He took the glass away from me and downed the rest of it. “I understand you’re upset, but don’t go down this path. You’re better than this, and I expect more from you.”

I gave him a glare. “Then don’t expect anything from me.”

“Too bad,” he snapped. “I always expect the world from you.” He pulled out the chair beside me and sat down, his body pivoted toward me. “I know this is shitty, baby. But you’re going to move past this. One day, you’re going to meet a nice guy, fall in love, and forget about me.”

His words infuriated me so much that I couldn’t think straight. Without thinking twice about it, I pulled my hand back and slapped him hard across the face. I hit him with enough force to turn the skin red. “Don’t say that to me.”

He turned with the hit, clenched his jaw, and then gave me a terrifying glare.

“I can’t believe you think our love is so trivial.”

“I don’t. I just don’t want you to lose yourself over this. Where’s the strong woman I fell in love with? Where’s the woman who doesn’t shed a tear over a man? That’s the woman you need to be right now. I don’t want you to be miserable. I know it sucks right now, but there’s a future for you. You’re in pain now, but you won’t always be. When I walk out that door, I want to know that you’re going to be alright.”

“Be alright?” I whispered. “How can I be alright without you?”

His eyes softened, but only for a moment. “You can do it, baby. You know you can call me if you need anything. I don’t care if you have a husband or kids. I’ll always be there if you need me.”

“I don’t want to do this…”

“I know,” he said quietly. “But it’s happening. I need you to keep yourself together.”

“I guess I’m not as strong as you.”

“No.” He gripped my wrist and gave it a squeeze. “You’re stronger.” He brought my hand to his mouth and placed a kiss right over the veins. “I know this hurts, but I know you have the strength to pull through it. I don’t want you to suffer. I want you to be happy.”

“You want me to love someone else?” I asked incredulously. “To find a nice guy like my father wants?”

He stared at my hand for a long time, pondering my question. He lifted his gaze again. “I want you to be happy, baby. If I can’t have you, I don’t want you to be alone. I would much rather picture you with a family like you’ve always wanted instead of depressed and alone because we can’t be together.”

My eyes softened, accompanied by a hint of tears. “Where were you?”

He looked away again. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“Why can’t you tell me now?”

“Because.” He turned his gaze on me, this time stern.

I didn’t bother asking any more questions because I knew I wouldn’t get an answer. “What do we do now?” I wanted to appreciate every moment we had left, but I was too upset to feel spontaneous or happy. Normally, we’d be making love or staring into each other’s eyes. But neither one of us was in the mood for that.

He pulled back his sleeve and looked at his watch. “I have less than a day left with my woman. I know exactly what I want to do.”

The sex wasn’t good like it usually was. Knowing every kiss and thrust were final took all the enjoyment out of it. All I could think about were the nights I would be spending alone, remembering the evenings when things were good between us. I pictured him with the women who would follow after I was gone. I imagined the men I would date then dump. My hands moved through his short hair and down his muscular back, but it wasn’t the same as it used to be.

I was too heartbroken.

Bones wasn’t the same either. His lovemaking was slow, full of abrupt stops, like he was being hit with the reality that this heartbreak was inevitable. He was a powerful man who could control anything, but he couldn’t stop the sun from rising.