“I…I don’t know.”
He nodded to the steps. “Sit with me.”
After a moment of hesitation, I sat on the bottom step with him. There were a few inches between us, so we weren’t touching.
He rested his arms on his knees, his hands coming together. “Did he pass away?”
“No. I’ll give you the short version of the long version…”
“The long version is fine with me.” He stared straight ahead, looking at the street.
“My family has a long history with his family. His father did some terrible things to my mother and aunt. That was before I was even born. Then I met Griffin… the son of the man who did all those terrible things. I didn’t expect to fall in love with him. I did my best not to. I even hated him like everyone else at one point…but I couldn’t help it. I fell in love with him. We were really happy together. I didn’t want to keep it a secret forever, so we tried to get my family to accept him. But that didn’t work. My father tried to get to know him and let go of the past, but eventually, he just couldn’t do it. He told me he didn’t want me to see Griffin anymore. I know I’m a grown woman who doesn’t have to listen to my parents, but my family is so close that I need a husband who can be part of my family. I want a husband whom my father will love like a son. That wasn’t him…so we went our separate ways. That was almost two months ago…”
He massaged his knuckles, listening to every word I’d said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You are?” I whispered.
He nodded. “He’s your first love?”
“And my only love.”
“Then, yes, I’m sorry to hear that. It’s rough losing someone you love.”
“It is.”
“So, you feel guilty for having feelings for me…because you feel like you’re betraying him.”
“I never said I have feelings for you.”
A long stretch of silence passed. “You’ve never needed to. I can feel it, Vanessa. I can feel this connection between us. The second I realized we fell in love with each other’s paintings, I knew there was something special here. It’s not just physical or romantic…but something else. I’m not the kind of guy that goes after women who are heartbroken over someone else. I’m not that patient. But with you…I realized I could be as patient as necessary.”
“You hardly know me.”
“I know,” he said. “And I have the rest of time to get to know you…which I’m looking forward to.”
“It’s hard for me to imagine myself being with anyone else. I thought I would marry Griffin. I still miss Griffin.”
“It takes time. And I don’t mind waiting for as long as that takes…as your friend. When I held you, I felt this explosion inside my chest. Sex has never felt that good. Love has never felt that good. But whatever that was…it felt right.”
I felt it too, but I refused to admit it out loud.
“I will gladly settle for being your friend until you’re ready to be something more.”
“I don’t know how long that will be, Antonio. You shouldn’t waste your time on me. There could be someone much better out there.”
“I doubt it,” he whispered. “There are a lot of beautiful women in the world. All special in their own way, they’re smart, interesting, fun…everything. But I’ve never felt this way for any of them. I was never looking for something serious. I was never looking to settle down. And then one interaction with you changed all of that. You know exactly what I’m talking about…I can feel it. But you aren’t ready to acknowledge it or embrace it. That’s fine. I would rather wait until you are…because when you’re ready, I want all of you. I don’t want just a piece of you.”
I stared forward, unsure what to say to that deep confession. Antonio was mature, poetic, and unbelievably romantic. If only this had happened some other time, I might have said I found the person I wanted to spend my life with. I would have been swept off my feet, and we would be making love all night long right upstairs. If I’d met Antonio first, Bones might never have had a chance.
But I did meet Bones first. And he was the man I loved. “We’ll see what happens. But for right now, at this moment in time, we’re friends. Just friends.”
A week passed, and I didn’t see Antonio. He seemed to give me the space I needed, the space I never asked for. Our galleries were so close together, but we never crossed paths. I was sure he made that intentional, knowing I couldn’t be with him all the time. If we really were just friends, then there was no reason to see each other on a daily basis.