She warned me she wouldn’t play nice if I became true competition. I don’t think she understands my dynamic with Kaiden though. I’m not sure he and I do either.
Rachel stares at my face, tilting her head and taking in the layered pieces of my pixie. “I mean, it could be the new hair. Unless there’s another reason you’re packing on pounds…”
She cannot seriously be insinuating that I’m pregnant. “Why can’t you mind your own business? It doesn’t matter if or why I gained weight.”
Her eyes roll, but she relents. “Whatever you say, Mouse. Give Kaiden my best. He should really return my texts. I miss him.”
Grinding my teeth, I walk out the front doors leaving their loud laughter behind me.
I noticed that my clothes fit me differently, especially my jeans. It isn’t my waist that the denim hugs tighter, it’s my legs. And despite trying not to let it get to me, my reflection does look different. My cheeks are fuller, the bones less defined, and my chin is slightly rounder than I’m used to.
At first, I thought I looked better. Healthier. I can still fit into my clothes, so it isn’t a huge weight change, but it’s an unwarranted one. My diet hasn’t been anything out of the ordinary. If anything, my appetite is limited thanks to the pulsing pain.
If people are starting to notice at school, what does everyone at home think? Kaiden has seen me naked more and more lately, and he talks about how much he loves my body. He’ll trace my slight curves and caress every inch of skin like he can’t help it. Never once has he commented on me looking different.
When I slip into his waiting car, he immediately notices my mood. “What happened?”
“Your friends like to talk.”
“They’re idiots.”
I stare at my hands that are folded in my lap. “Do you think I’m getting fat?”
“What the fuck kind of question is that?”
“One I want you to answer honestly.”
His reply is immediate. “You’re not fat, Mouse. Not even close. Whoever said that is an asshole that I’ll happily deal with.”
Part of me wants to rat out Rachel, but I don’t want to deal with the repercussions. When you have little energy to begin with, you don’t want to waste it on the wrong people.
“It doesn’t matter,” I murmur.
“You’re upset. It matters.”
I sigh loudly. “Things have been weird with me lately. I know I’ve filled out, but I didn’t think anyone really noticed.”
He’s silent for too long, staring out the windshield with his hand twitching on the gearshift. “You don’t think that you’re…?”
I smack him. “Seriously? Do you not remember when I snapped at you two weeks ago because I was moody and you bought me chocolate and tampons when you found out I was bleeding to death? Or two months ago when I couldn’t get out of bed because my period triggered a flare and you gave me your Mom’s heating pad?”
He raises his hands. “Shit. Sorry.”
I shake my head and stare out the window. “I’m just…angry. I didn’t mean to snap, but I don’t want people commenting on my weight. I used to be accused of anorexia when I lost too much from my disease. Now…”
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, the same thing I’ve done with him when he gets upset. Sometimes it’s over his father, or when he has a bad day. All it takes is one little touch.
I look at our hands. “Do you care that people think we’re together? They know who we are to each other. Rumors will get nasty.”
“They won’t say anything.”
“To you,” I counter. “But what about after you graduate? I’ll be known for the girl that looks like she got knocked up by her stepbrother. That’s…” I scrunch my nose. “It’s gross, to be honest.”
He snorts. “You don’t think it’s gross when I lick your pussy until you’re crying into your pillow.”
“Kaiden!”
“To answer your question,” he says shamelessly, “I don’t care what people think about us. We’re friends. Friends flirt. Nobody needs to know anything else.”