“No.”
Her lips part.
“No,” I repeat, pulling my hand away from hers, “you don’t get to warn me away from people. I love you, Mama, but you gave up that right a long time ago.”
“Em—”
“Kaiden has been in my corner from the very beginning,” I inform her gingerly. “He’s annoying and sometimes downright rude, but he’s also a realist, probably more so than anyone else I know. He tells it how it is even if it hurts. I need him in my life.”
She’s speechless.
“He’s my friend,” I continue quietly, making sure she meets my eye. “He’s my only friend since Logan died. When things get tough here because Dad doesn’t get it or kids at school irritate me, he’s there. Not you. You were the reason I even came here, and I’m not blaming you for it. We both needed this, Mama. You needed time before you could ask for it, and I needed space before I could admit it.”
Mama and I were bad for each other.
But we could get better.
“You brought me to Dad. To Kaiden.”
Her eyes don’t glisten, but her lips falter like she wants to frown. I won’t let her though, because I’m not sad. She shouldn’t be either.
“I’m happy, Mama.”
I mean it.
I hold her hand again. “Being here makes me happy. Now it’s time for you to be happy too.”
That makes her smile. “I’m trying, Sunshine.”
For once, I believe her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Dad tears up when he opens his gift. He stares at it for so long, I start to worry that I should have chosen something else. Maybe not even given him anything at all.
Then he hugs me. A big bear hug like I remember from when I was little. He’d wrap both me and Lo in his arms and squeeze until we giggled and latched onto him too.
I start tearing up too, which makes Cam get emotional. Mama and Grandma sit on the couch watching, Grandma smiling and Mama doing the exact opposite. Her lips are twitching downward until she’s frowning, and Kaiden notices too.
Focusing back on Dad, I brush the frame in his hands. “It’s my favorite pair you ever gave me. I thought…”
I shrug, not knowing what I thought.
Dad’s throat bobs as he brushes my face with his thumb. “I love you, baby girl. Always have and always will.”
So why didn’t you try harder? I want to ask. Only, I don’t because I remind myself that we’re trying to move forward not back.
Mama’s frown deepens when I return to the spot between her and Grandma. Thankfully, the gift exchange is over and we’re all full from dinner, which means Dad will take them back to their hotel soon.
Mama was relatively quiet at dinner. She asked me how school was, and I told her okay. Cam mentioned Book Club, so I explained how it ended, and Dad brought up my report card because I made the principal’s list with all A’s.
Nobody was surprised.
When Mama asked Kaiden about school, there was motive weaved into her words. I studied her as he replied something generic, while Cam intervened and told Mama that Kaiden is graduating in June. That’s when she asked him about college.
Honestly, I never thought about Kaiden going away. Not once has he brought up attending college anywhere. I’m not even sure if he applied … until Cam started talking about his early acceptance to Colgate University to play lacrosse. Apparently a bunch of scouts were at his games last year and he got offers all over.
Massachusetts.