I cringe at the thought of handing over our used vibrator and feather tickler to some functionary. ‘Can’t I take them home and clean them myself?’
‘No, they say all toys stay in the building.’
Once my legs work, I dress and leave the dungeon hand in hand with Dimitri, who swings a black plastic bag containing our ‘stuff’ all the way up the stairs and across the café to the office.
When we knock on the door, the mellifluous tones of O bid us enter. I am a little in awe of her, and I avoid her eye when we walk in.
‘Oh, lovely, it’s you,’ she says with genuine warmth. ‘Our two newest members. How did you enjoy your dungeon session? Do sit down, please. If you can.’
She winks at me. I blush and sit heavily on the nearest chair, as if to prove a point.
Dimitri drops the black bag gingerly on her desk. She writes out a tag for it, ties it round the neck and stows it away in a big box.
‘All ready for the washer,’ she explains. ‘So? Do I have to use my imagination about you two in the dungeon? What did you try?’
‘A table,’ says Dimitri. ‘Very interesting design.’
‘Well, we do trawl all the best bondage furniture-makers. I like to think we have the most comprehensive stock of any club out there.’
‘There is a lot. I hope we try it all.’
‘I hope you do,’ she says, her smile lingering all over Dimitri’s oversized jumper. ‘Tell me, do you ever use the café, or come for our social events?’
‘I work in evenings,’ Dimitri explains. ‘Rosie work in daytime.’
‘Oh dear, ships that pass in the night. But there’s nothing to stop you coming here alone. You’re both members. Why not join in and meet a few like-minded people? I’d hate to think you weren’t getting the most from your membership here.’
‘Oh, I just prefer to be with Dimitri,’ I mumble, looking at him sideways to see if he is tempted by this idea. Anton’s description of a Dimitri-like man coming out of the
door has been drifting around in my head ever since he said the words.
‘We are busy people,’ he adds, to my distinct pleasure and relief. ‘I try to make career as actor, plus I must learn my English to make it better.’
‘What better way to improve your English than by making conversation with native speakers? At social events?’
‘Like I say, I am mostly busy. I try to make time, perhaps.’
‘Please do. We’d love to see you at one of our group play sessions, for instance. We’re all dying to see you in action.’
‘Uh-huh, right, well, thank you. Good afternoon.’
He makes his escape, with me in tow, back to the café area, where we buy restorative caffeinated beverages and subside on to the least visible couches.
‘We’re all dying to see you in action.’ I mimic O’s nakedly salacious tone, curling my lip. ‘Ugh.’
‘Is very strange, this O. She make me feel like piece of meat.’
‘Poor Dimitri. You’re being objectified. Just make sure you don’t get exploited next.’
‘I think she have plans for us.’
‘Plans for you.’
‘I don’t do no plans without you.’
I glow and melt into the cappuccino froth. ‘Aww, really?’
Before he can expand on this statement, a pair of tits with a dog leash dangling in between shoves itself rudely into my line of sight.