Her eyes have focused, snap, just like that, and she looks straight at me, expectantly.
I want to run, but my legs have gone. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I gabble, pushing the door. ‘It’s me. I didn’t mean to spy. I just … I wanted to ask you something.’
Her eyes widen and she stares for a silent age. ‘Rosie. Come over here.’
I look back, still contemplating escape, but there’s no point now, so I walk over to her. What can she do to me with her arms strapped to the cross anyway?
‘You can see how I’m fixed,’ she drawls. ‘Mal’ll be here in a minute. He’ll be interested to see you.’
I try to keep my eyes from dropping to her breasts and crotch. I feel a bit like a pervy old man must feel. But she’s so gorgeous, all naked and spread-eagled there.
‘I just wondered,’ I say, feeling ineffably stupid, ‘if you’d seen Dimitri at all this morning.’ I pause. ‘I can’t get hold of him, you see,’ I add helpfully.
‘Ah, Dimitri,’ she says, rolling his name around in her mouth like a fine wine. ‘Isn’t everyone trying to get hold of him?’
She seems to enjoy my anxiety. ‘Are they? Really? Like who?’
‘Oh, just people in general. He’s such an attractive man, isn’t he? Seems tragic to keep him all to yourself. A man like that has so much to offer the community.’
My admiration of her turns to dislike.
‘That’s rather up to him, isn’t it?’ I say tightly. ‘I like this idea that community spirit involves whipping every backside that bares itself to you. Do you
think the government would go for that idea? Beats the Big Society, doesn’t it? So to speak.’
She laughs. ‘You’re an interesting girl too, Rosie. To be fair, a lot of the tops have their eyes on you. Including Mal.’
‘Well, I’m not available. Except to Dimitri. Look, do you want me to undo those cuffs?’ O is starting to look uncomfortable.
‘No, it’s fine. Mal won’t thank you for it. I’ve orders to stay like this until he comes back. What you said about only being available to Dimitri though … are you sure he feels that way?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s a free spirit, Rosie. Don’t you see that? He can’t be caged by one person’s jealousy or possessiveness. He needs his space.’
‘You seem to know him very well.’
‘We’ve spoken at length, every time he’s booked a room here. You can’t hang on to a man like that. He’s not for hanging on to. He’s for experiencing and adoring and remembering all your life. But you can’t expect to keep him.’
‘What the hell have you been talking about? You sound like some kind of hippy dippy sixties song lyric.’
‘Let’s just say I’m a good reader of people.’
‘Let’s just say you’re spouting all this crap because you want him for yourself.’
‘I certainly wouldn’t say no. But I wouldn’t try to stifle him either, or keep him from making other people happy.’
‘What about what makes him happy? Have you thought about that?’
‘Have you?’
‘Of course … I have.’
She catches the hesitation, a hesitation that comes of seeing him leave the building with Trixietots earlier. Does he want to spread himself around, for love as well as money? Have I just been the practice model, helping him hone his skills for the real deal?
I really didn’t think so. I really thought there was something special between us. But what do I know?
‘He wants to be a pro-dom. Does that sound like a one-woman man to you?’