“Let the games begin,” she muttered.
“What?”
She shook her head and took up her position for the Mendelssohn overture von Ritter had mentioned from the podium.
But her mind was not on her music today and von Ritter took her to task for forgetting to come in at the right bar, something he had never had to do before.
She was almost in tears by the end of the rehearsal and when Lydia passed, violin case in hand, she grabbed at her arm.
“Time for a coffee?” she said, so desperately that Lydia’s face assumed an immediate expression of concern.
“I was just going to ask you the same question,” she said.
“Brilliant. Let’s go.”
“Um,” said Ben, appearing over Vanessa’s shoulder. “I thought we were going to see that film?”
“Oh. Ben. I’m sorry. I just don’t feel up to it. Would you mind if we postponed? We can go tomorrow instead.”
“Are you okay?” The anxiety in his voice brought her even closer to the edge of tears.
“Fine, I’m fine. Just a little tired. I need an evening off.”
“I didn’t realise I was some kind of tough job that you need to take breaks from,” said Ben, a tad huffily. “Okay, sure. I’ll, er, see you tomorrow then.”
“You know I didn’t mean it that way,” said Vanessa to his retreating back, but he just lifted a hand and waved silently on his way to the door.
“He’ll be all right,” said Lydia, touching her forearm.
“Shit,” said Vanessa, her voice wobbling. “Will he?”
“Of course he will. He adores you. Come on. Let’s get that coffee. I’ve got all sorts to tell you.”
“So have I.”
Vanessa and Lydia took giant glass towers of coffee over to a corner table and set them down carefully before seating themselves.
“You go first,” said Vanessa, a little calmer now she wasn’t sharing a building with Dafydd.
“Oh, mine’s the usual. I shagged Milan.”
Vanessa laughed despite herself. “That’s not news,” she said. “That’s just inevitable. And? One-night stand? Or is he a reformed character now?”
“That’s what I’m trying to work out. I probably should save the sleeping with him bit until after I’ve worked it out, but what the hell? I might as well enjoy myself.” She took a reckless slug of coffee and wiped the froth off her upper lip.
“Good on you, girl,” said Vanessa. “He’s given you enough heartache. Just have a bit of fun—you deserve it. Oh. What about von Ritter though?”
Lydia grimaced.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt him. I really like him. And I’ve told him how things are… God, perhaps I should just tell him it’s over. But it might not be…”
“Well, what a delightful dilemma,” said Vanessa. “Two hot men on a string. Your violin string.”
“I feel like a bit of a tart,” she confided. “But I’m not ready to choose yet.”
“Well, if they aren’t forcing you to, just go with it. Go with the flow, man.” Vanessa half-closed her eyes and blew out imaginary marijuana smoke. “You need to mellow out.”
“I think I’m the least mellow person on the planet. Plus, Milan is so bitchy about Karl-Heinz, it makes me want to stick by him and defend him.”