‘What?’
‘What happened between us. It still hurts you.’
‘No, it doesn’t. I don’t let it.’ I stabbed at a disc of mozzarella, sloshing it around in its basil jus.
‘If only life were that easy. Life and love. I half hoped you’d have met someone else, settled down, found happiness.’
‘Only half?’
‘Yeah,’ he said, and it was more a breath than a word, floating over the candle flame. ‘Only half.’
‘I did meet someone else. In Hungary. But it didn’t work out.’
He smiled then.
‘Tell me about Hungary. I’ve never been there.’
He had given me the floor and I took it, relieved to have control of a conversation that had almost lurched beyond the boundaries I had set myself. No talking about old times. No recriminations. Definitely no flirting.
He played the perfect gent for the rest of the evening and no more reference was made to our common past.
In the car park, he offered to walk me home, and I had to remind him that I didn’t live at the caravan site any more.
‘I’m in Tylney,’ I said. ‘I drove here tonight.’
‘Oh, is that why you didn’t drink?’
‘No. I didn’t drink because I wanted to keep my head.’
He looked slightly furtive at that, a little guilty.
‘Well, I’ll see you on Monday, at the office,’ he said. He leaned forwards, a little awkwardly, aiming for my cheek, but I dodged out of the way.
‘About nine?’
‘Perfect.’
He didn’t set off for the Hall immediately but watched me get into the car and drive away. I felt the burn of his eyes on me as I belted up and chose a CD to listen to.
Go away, I thought, but at the same time a treacherous second voice chanted, Come back to me.
Chapter Three
‘I’ll tell you what, I didn’t realise how dirty posh boys are.’
Minna was full of her escapade at the Hall that next morning after we’d bumped into Joss at the Feathers.
‘Really?’ I said with a yawn, frowning at the wall my hairdrier was plugged into. The electricity kept cutting out and I had an idea that the way the socket was coming away from its moorings might not be helping.
‘God, yeah. Filthy, they are.’
I didn’t want to hear it. If she’d kissed Joss, or gone further with him, I didn’t want to know.
‘It’s all that repression, shut away at Eton. They go wild when they get a sniff of a woman, probably.’
‘Do you think so? Mmm, what a night. Three sexy boys and me in a four-poster bed.’ She was lying full-length on the sofa and she arched her back like a cat.
I had to know. I spat it out.