I smiled at my brother, nodding.
And I’m the biggest third wheel of all time, right now.
“It’s cool. I mean it,” I said.
“Okay,” Red said dubiously, eyeing me like he knew damn well I was in a one-man pity party right now in my head.
“I’m gonna… I’m gonna go wait out front. Need some fresh air,” I said, slipping off my chair and toward the front doors.
I unlocked my phone as I walked outside, staring down at the barrage of group messages I’d received from my team back at the fire station. There were a few photos from the poker game earlier tonight. Jason had won six rounds in a row, as usual, before then they’d been called to a fairly dangerous electrical fire in a two-story house.
There was a picture of Jason being hugged by two young girls outside of a house with some damage done to it. Made sure I grabbed their stuffed animals from the beds, Jason had written.
My heart ached. Those smallest things could mean the whole world, especially to kids. People were always going to be upset if part of their home was destroyed, but anything we firefighters could do to make the experience less awful was vital to me.
I missed feeling important. Feeling like I had true purpose, even if my love life was a dumpster fire I didn’t know how to put out.
A door creaked behind me and I turned to see a figure leaving out the side door of the bar, trash bag in hand.
It was a flash of silvery hair in the light of the lamp post nearby. Perry tossed the bag in the trash and started walking over toward the parking lot.
“Hey,” I called out. “It’s just me.”
“Christ, you scared me,” Perry said as he walked up slowly.
“I didn’t mean to be lurking in the shadows, I promise,” I said.
“No, no, it’s… fine,” he said, stepping closer. His eyes had dark circles under them, and he looked exhausted. “I just didn’t know you were here.”
“Nowhere better to be, that’s for damn sure,” I said.
A small surge of energy bubbled through me. I’d been lethargic and whiskey-laden all evening, but now the moment Perry was nearby, I was like a puppy dog ready to play.
Perry cleared his throat, watching me. “Are you… okay?” he asked.
I stared at him for a moment.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Do not get all pathetic and rambly around this poor guy, and just let him get home.
“Do I seem like the ‘fuck and flee’ type to you?” I blurted out, the whiskey still more in control of me than I’d realized.
“Fuck and… what?”
I ran my hands over my face, taking a deep breath in. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to say it, but now I’ve said it. Fuck and flee. Like… someone who just wants to get in, have sex, and get out.”
“Did somebody call you that?”
“Yes. A woman. Right before I last left the city, actually.”
“Fuck and flee,” he repeated, as if he was amused at the ridiculous phrase. “Like a playboy?”
“Exactly,” I said.
Perry scratched his head. “I don’t think my opinion is going to be very valuable, but no. I don’t just see you as a playboy.”
“You think I could be a good boyfriend for someone, some day?”
“Maybe. I don’t even know if I can ever be a good boyfriend to someone,” Perry said.
“Bullshit.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Historically I bore people too much,” he said.
I let out a deep laugh. “That is so ridiculous. You’re one of the most interesting people in this damn town.”
He looked so confused and flustered that I almost felt bad for paying him the compliment, but in all honesty, it was a little bit adorable.
“Thank you,” he said, though it sounded like it was hard for him to get out. “Are you okay, Rock?”
“I am,” I said. “I’m sorry for the barrage of strange questions. I’ve just been feeling off tonight.”
“I know how that can be. And I’m still sorry for what I said last night. I promise I didn’t mean it—”
“Hey, I get it,” I said. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“But I know I came off rude, and that is so far from what I intended. I was glad you talked to me last night. I’m just not used to any attention at all, usually.”
Why did this man do such strange things to my heart? There was something so genuine and earnest about him, like he couldn’t pretend to be anybody but himself. I knew I was getting the real Perry—raw and unfiltered.
And I liked that. Usually the people I flirted with played the typical games, never showing who they really were.
Usually they were women, too. But I pushed that out of my mind right now.
“Tell me everything’s going to work out with your family reunion?” I asked.
“It would be a lie if I did,” he said. “It’s going to be a shitshow. Mom’s been planning it all year, and she’s even got cousins flying in from Sweden, but every time she calls me she’s sobbing.”