As Luke and I got started cleaning, I put on a playlist on the house speakers.
I was fucking exhausted. I was tired down to the bone, and my body was starting to feel the lack of sleep.
But I also had a feeling I hadn’t felt in years—it was almost fun, cleaning around the house with him, like a project we were doing together in the early hours of the morning. For the longest time, Rachel had just hired a house cleaning service every week. It made sense, especially when both of our jobs got busy and time was at a premium. But the cleaning service was another thing that had slipped through the cracks now that she was gone.
But Luke seemed up for anything. Energy radiated from him, even at four in the morning on very little sleep. His energy was contagious, too, and before long the kitchen and living room were starting to look fresh.
“This is great,” I said, stepping into the living room after putting away all of the dishes. “You’ve done a good job in here.”
Luke had a strange look on his face, though, and his head cocked to one side as he looked down at the narrow space between one of the side tables and the couch.
“Cam, what is…”
His words trailed off as he reached down, a smile spreading across his face.
Cold panic sunk into my veins as he stood up, a big hunk of purple silicone in one of his hands.
“Oh God,” I murmured, running over and grabbing my big, floppy dildo out of his hand.
He was laughing hard, now, pure delight on his face. “Hell yes,” he said.
“You are going to forget you saw this, and we are not going to talk about it again,” he said. “Holy shit, I am so glad we found this before the kids came back.”
I could feel my cheeks burning red.
“Are you kidding? I love that you have that thing,” he said. “You’ve gotta make your ‘personal time’ worth its while. You like being penetrated, huh?”
“Stop,” I said.
“Trust me, I like it,” he said, gesturing down to his groin. There was a bulge there. “It turns me on to think about you using that, actually.”
“Well, it’s going back into my room, and it’s never coming back out from there again.”
I went and stashed the dildo in the back of my bottom nightstand drawer before returning to the living room.
“I’m a total mess,” I said, dragging my fingers through my hair.
“I know you feel that way, but I promise you, you’re not.”
“I don’t know how to be a bachelor,” I said.
He grinned. “Seems like you’ve got the lifestyle down pretty well already, actually.”
I snorted, giving him a push on the shoulder. “Shut up. I mean it. I’ve only ever been with family, my whole life. Everything just feels like… chaos, when I’m on my own.”
“And that’s exactly why you have to embrace some amount of chaos,” Luke said. “Because it never really stops. All you can do is rise to meet it.”
“You feel the chaos, too?”
“Why the hell do you think I keep my life so simple?” he asked, shrugging. “It’s not an accident. You say I seem free, but in reality, I just have to live life one day at a time. Sometimes it’s not the best way, but it’s the only thing I know how to do. I have to see the small good things in every situation, because I know no day is promised.”
I knew that when he said it, he meant it.
Luke didn’t talk about “no day being promised” because it was a cliche—he had felt it, in a very real way.
“It seems like you went through a lot, overseas,” I said cautiously, not wanting to overstep my bounds.
He watched me, silent for a long moment before taking a breath. “I lost someone who was very close to me,” he said simply.
I nodded once. “I’m so sorry.”
He waved a hand through the air. “Anyway. When you hear me sounding like a cheesy fucking quote from a self-help book, that’s why. I can’t help it, sometimes.
“Believe me, I think I can benefit from some cheesy quotes, right now,” I said. “I’m a single dad who did a crossword in a bar, sucked cock, and then almost left a dildo on the floor before my kid’s birthday party.”
A small smile appeared on Luke’s face, and finally it felt like he was being pulled out of his memories.
“Sounds like a plenty good night to me,” he said.
“Better because I’m not alone,” I told him.
As Luke and I worked, my nerves calmed and slowly, I began to feel sleepy again. The hours wore on as he showed me all sorts of things in the front and backyard, and before I knew it, the sun had risen and it was time to go to the stores.