“That’s true,” he said. “But I still felt rotten. And I actually had a ton of fun with you, that morning. And certainly that night.”
The memory of his mouth on my cock came flooding back to me every time I thought about it.
I nodded at him, walking past him toward the greenhouse so that he wouldn’t see my dick getting half-hard in my pants.
“It’s no biggie,” I said. “Really.”
“Okay. I’m never going to believe that, but I’ll try to stop dwelling on it,” he said.
“You just come here to apologize? You didn’t have to do that,” I said, pushing open the glass door to the greenhouse and propping it open with the wooden doorstop. A wave of cool humidity hit me, and I could already smell that my hyacinths were blooming inside. Cam followed me in, watching as I checked on them.
“I also came to ask for a favor,” he said. “My kids want a bird feeder. And I want to have a nice one for them. Not just a cheapie plastic one from the store. And I thought that would definitely be something you’d know where to get, or know how to make, and I know you don’t owe me anything, but—”
“Yes, I’ll help you build a good bird feeder,” I said. I had to say anything to get him to stop talking. Not because I didn’t like the sound of his voice, but exactly the opposite—everything he said sounded so apologetic, so charming, like he still thought he’d wronged me somehow.
Cam was too pure-hearted. Too good for this world. It was easy for me to forget that he’d spent his entire adult life in a committed relationship, and that now, he was like a little deer cast out to the wolves.
“Awesome,” he said, exhaling. God, this man could get into my head with just a glance.
I couldn’t help but smile, looking back at him. “Were you so afraid to ask me a simple question like that?”
“Yes, to be honest,” he said. “But I did it. And I’m trying to start doing one thing a day that scares me.”
I froze. “Are you?”
“Yeah.”
I paused, gears turning in my head.
I knew the phrase was common. Motivational speakers all over the world told people to “do one thing a day that scared you.”
But hearing it right now? From Cam?
It was a little too much of a coincidence.
I swallowed, cocking my head at him. “When did you decide to do that?”
He smiled softly, looking down at the flower in front of him and running his fingertips over the stem.
“You’re gonna think this is super cheesy,” he said. “So you have to promise not to make fun of me.”
“Promise.”
He looked up at me, all big blue eyes.
“I joined an online chat group. For single people in Kansas, getting back into the dating world.”
I gulped, my veins suddenly chilly.
There it was.
So it was true. Cam was LittleBit. I’d been chatting with him late last night without either of us knowing.
“Oh yeah?” I asked, my throat strangely tight. I forced myself to stare down at the purple hyacinths.
He was pulling out his phone now, tapping away at it before putting it in front of me. “It’s called BackOutThere Kansas. See? People are talking about all sorts of things. I never thought I’d be in anything like this, but it’s kind of fun. Somebody was helping me out last night, telling me I should do one thing a day that scares me, and I think they were right.”
I nodded.
“You totally are trying not to make fun of me.”
“I think it’s an amazing idea, Cam,” I said, finally meeting his eyes again. “I think he was right. I think you should keep doing things that scare you, and it will only help you grow. And I don’t know why the hell it would scare you to come ask me to help with a bird feeder, but I’m glad you did it, okay?”
He seemed surprised by my sudden outpouring of words.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hug him or run the hell away from him. I knew joining the app was a mistake. And I knew I should have told him, right then and there, that it had been me, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
“You’re awesome, Luke,” he said. “You’re very generous with your time.”
“I’m not very generous.”
“You definitely are with me.”
“I enjoy spending time with you,” I said. “I don’t know you that well, Cam, but I know I like you.”
I couldn’t help but notice the slight pink blush on his cheeks as I complimented him. He was a damned angel. My heart was still pounding in my chest after the realization that I’d been talking to him on the app, but I tried to ignore it.
I had no clue why Cam was hanging around a bastard like me for reasons other than sex, but I wasn’t about to question it.