“You’re always going to be my favorite guy. You know that. You’re my brother, my ride or die.”
“I know.” And I did. I just… “Fuck, why Will?” Why did I feel like I was losing them both in one swoop? Like nothing would be the same? I stood up straight. “Come on. Let’s go back out there.”
“Or we can go home. I’ll go with you. Ali will understand. We can complain about boys and…” She frowned, because obviously she didn’t need to complain about boys anymore. “We can hang out.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I need to stay, and you don’t need to take care of me. I’m a big boy. This thing with Will is just sex anyway.” Only it didn’t feel that way. “And I’m happy for you and Ali.” Only I felt a little more lonely because of it too. “Let’s go.” Maybe Mom hadn’t been so wrong in trying to hook me up, after all. Clearly, I couldn’t figure shit out on my own.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Will
It was impossible to get away from Leon all night. I’d tried, more than once, and while normally that would have made my chest swell, it left me feeling cold inside.
How in the hell had this happened? Why hadn’t I at least found out Jameson’s last name?
I was orgasming my way through the summer with the son of my boss. I had no idea how that would affect my career, if Leon would care, but that wasn’t the reason for the heaviness in my bones. Wasn’t what weighed me down and had me spending the night scanning the crowd for my professor.
He’d been hurt. His dad had praised me to him, and I knew what that had to feel like to him. I knew what it felt like to me, because I wanted Leon’s praise—it was something I didn’t get in my own family—but not at the cost of Jameson’s feelings.
“Sir, I think I should—”
“Come with me onto the stage first.”
He began making his way there without giving me the opportunity to deny him. And what would I say anyway?
I followed Leon to the front of the room. We went onstage, and the music stopped as he spoke. His words were drowned out by the blood rushing through my head as my eyes scanned the crowd for Jameson.
I knew what the speech was. He was discussing new business moves for the company and a new idea I’d had for marketing. When he looked proudly at me, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to find Jameson and…what exactly? I wanted to make sure he was okay, but what then? Was I going to quit my job? Were we going to stop doing this? Did any of it matter?
Everyone was clapping, and I kept feeling sicker and sicker. When we were finished, I pulled Leon aside and said, “I’m not feeling great. I think it’s something I ate.”
“No worries. Sorry I didn’t realize sooner. You can head out if you need to.”
I thanked him and walked away. I needed to find his son. And then I thought of the dude with him, of the white-hot jealousy that had shot through me when Leon introduced him as Jameson’s date.
I stumbled. Oh God. I liked him. Not just making him come or being his fling. He made me smile more than anyone, and I wanted to spend all my time with him, this goofy, silly, crush-type of like, the kind I’d teased Shaw about when he fell for Elijah.
Not that I loved Jameson—I was pretty certain that wasn’t the case here—but this was more than a fling to me, and I’d never had more than a fling before.
What the hell was I going to do? If Jameson and I became more than a fling, would it compromise my job? What happened if we broke up? If I fucked up and then had to see Leon every day?
Even more important than that, I was wondering what it would do to Jameson because I didn’t want to be part of something that made him feel bad about himself or as if he was letting his dad down. He’d told me he worried about his sister finding someone one day who might become the son he thought Leon wanted, and what if that was how I made him feel?
There were so many thoughts in my head that I couldn’t concentrate. I knew I needed to find Jameson and get the hell out of there and figure it out.
I found Ali and Kira—minus my professor and his date, who wasn’t supposed to be a date, but what if he was so pissed at me, he left with him? Jameson wouldn’t do that, would he?
Bile rose in my throat as I asked, “Where is he?”
“What the fuck!” Kira crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell us you worked for his dad?”