With renewed fire, I shoved to my feet. I didn’t know if he would want it or not. Will had things to lose too, but I had to try. I never tried for anything in my life, not outside of school, and I was so tired of settling.
Even if it hurt later, I wanted Will now.
I grabbed my cell and called him. There was a sound outside, the ringing of Will’s phone. I jerked the door open just as he answered the call, and we stood there, phones to our ears, smiling at each other like a couple of idiots.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi.” We lowered our cells. “I got to the end of the block and came back.”
“I got as far as sitting on my ass against the door before I came to my senses. We can do this, right? I know your job… God, I’m a dick for even putting you in this situation. If shit goes bad, I won’t let my dad fire you. I promise. I’ll make it my fault or say I broke up with you—not that we’re together or anything, but—”
“Shut up, Professor,” Will said with a smile.
“I’m shutting up.”
“I don’t want to walk away.”
“I don’t either.”
“I want to—” he started just as I said, “It’s just a fling.”
He paused. Nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Obviously. It’s just a fling. We just keep going like we did before. Your dad will never know. But if it hurts you, tell me, and we stop. I don’t want to come between you and your dad. I don’t want to hurt you. I’d walk away from my job before that.”
God, why was he the absolute best? Will was going to ruin me. “I don’t want to hurt you either. If you’re worried about your job, we stop.”
“Agreed. Tell each other how we feel. Keep up with the lessons. Then when the summer is over, we walk away.”
I tried not to flinch as pain spread through my chest. Get it together, Jameson. I smiled. “At the end of the summer, we walk away.”
Will kissed my grin, and we stumbled inside together, kicking the door closed behind us.
I was being crazy, taking chances I didn’t usually take, and knew I would crash and burn. I was afraid I was stumbling into more than just my bedroom with him, and I would be the one who’d be alone when we ended…and Will would still work for my father. I’d have to see him and remember what I lost.
Fuck my life.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Will
I’m not gonna lie, I’d been nervous as fuck to go back to work. Like Leon would take one look at me and know I’d spent the rest of the weekend trading blowjobs with his son. Which was exactly what we’d done. I’d stayed the night at his place for the first time, and we’d laughed and talked and sucked each other off. It was maybe the best weekend in the history of the world, which was a scary thought.
But this was temporary. I’d almost said that maybe we should just date and see how it went before Jameson confirmed to me that it was a fling and would end with the summer.
Which was smart. Obviously, it was smart. Getting our feelings mixed up in this would be dumb with a capital D because it would make things a whole lot harder if we broke up…plus I worked for his dad, who already felt like a father figure to me, and I wanted to make him proud of me in ways my own never was. The way Jameson didn’t feel Leon was with him, and God, this was so fucked. We were absolutely crazy to keep this going, but I didn’t want to stop. I wasn’t sure I could stop.
Luckily for me, the workday went fine. Leon asked if I felt better, which threw me for a moment because I’d forgotten I told him at the party I wasn’t feeling well. When I said yes, he said he was glad, and we went about our day. There was absolutely no indication that he realized I knew what his son’s come tasted like, or that I really liked it when he swallowed mine.
Okay, and maybe I thought weird shit, but seriously, this thing with Jameson was screwing with my head. It was making me feel things and think things I’d never felt or thought. Stupid bachelor auction. This was all Elijah’s fault.
It was that thought that led me to Shaw and Eli’s after work—okay, maybe not that exactly. Maybe I wanted to know how Shaw had felt when he recognized he was falling for Elijah, so I could compare it to what I was experiencing to try and make sense of it all.
Of course I couldn’t come out and say that, so when Elijah answered the door, what came out was, “This is all your fault, you bendy little twink!”