Messy Love (Stumbling into Love 3)

“I’ll be right there.” He went into his room and put the notebook in his bedside table. When we got to my room, Jonathan sat on the bed while I rummaged through my drawers and closet for something to wear.

I settled on a pair of button-up, charcoal-gray shorts and a baby-blue tank top that did great things for my pecs.

I went into the bathroom, pulling the door mostly closed but leaving it open a crack. I would have left it completely open had it been someone else, but I didn’t want to make Jonathan uncomfortable.

“What’s the movie?” he asked while I got dressed.

“Tonight it’s Shelter, which is good. We’ll actually get a queer story with a happily ever after.”

“What do you mean?”

“Most end in doom and gloom. It’s taking people a while to catch up and acknowledge that we deserve happy endings too.” Jonathan was quiet for a moment, long enough that I stuck my head out the door. “You okay?”

“Yeah. It’s shitty that it’s like that, and I feel bad because I didn’t know. It’s not something I ever thought about…maybe because I planned to be miserable my whole life too.”

“But you’re not now. You’re happy and authentic, and you’re on a gay baseball team and going to watch gay movies in the park with your super gay roommate who you cook with in your underwear.”

He snickered. “Wow…when you say it like that, I’ve come pretty far.”

“You’re almost not a baby gay anymore,” I teased, and he gave me the middle finger. We chatted some more as I finished getting ready. “They have a couple of food trucks near the entrance. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, that works.”

I grabbed the backpack I’d packed, and we made our way toward the park. It was already busy out, people enjoying their summer weekends. At one point, while we were crossing the street, Jonathan put his hand at the small of my back in a sweetly protective way. I wanted to tease and call him my hero, but I also didn’t want to risk embarrassing him so he wouldn’t feel comfortable enough around me to do these things.

When we got to the park, it was definitely already filling up.

“I got dinner tonight,” Jonathan said. I didn’t argue, not because of the free meal, but because I knew he wanted to do it.

We settled on a BBQ truck. I got pulled pork, and Jonathan got smoked sausage, both of us with fries. “No orange soda for you,” I said.

“Or Mountain Dew.”

“It’s a tragedy.” We got cola, then waited for our food. When it was done, Jonathan went to the window to grab it. “I can take mine.”

“I got it.”

It was such a simple thing, but with Jonathan, everything made me feel special, because it was me he chose to let his guard down with.

We found a spot that was pretty far back. I laid out the blanket, and we sat down to eat. There were groups of people, single people, couples, all filling the outdoor stadium seats and peppering the grassy area around us.

“Are you sure you don’t mind watching, since you’ve seen it before?” he asked before taking a bite. Grease squirted on his cheek.

“Nope. It’s a good one and, like I said, a happy ending.” I reached over and wiped his face with my napkin. “Messy boy.”

There was still a while before the movie started, so we chatted and finished our food. I went to take a drink and nothing came up. I must have been thirstier than I thought.

“I’ll take it,” Jonathan said. “I’ll toss the trash and get you a refill.”

“I can do it,” I countered.

He gave me a small shrug. “I want to.”

Oh, my heart was beating faster. Why was my heart beating faster? “Thanks, handsome.” I winked, trying to hide that I was a basket case when it came to this guy.

I fooled around on my phone while Jonathan was gone. I saw a few people I knew, who came up to say hi. If any of my close friends were there, like Eli and Shaw or Jameson and Will, I hadn’t spotted them yet.

I was beginning to wonder if Jonathan had run away from me when he said, “I found Mountain Dew but no orange soda.”

My chest got tight, and my heart started to dance. Oh no. This was bad. So fucking bad, because he wasn’t even running right now and I was being all googly-eyed over him. Maybe it was because I knew I could never have him? That this was just a weird thing, but Jonathan wouldn’t hurt me because we’d never really be together? He wouldn’t turn out like Garrett or my father. “You didn’t have to go on a Mountain Dew hunt.”

Jonathan just shrugged without making eye contact. “Wanted to.” He handed me the drink.