Messy Love (Stumbling into Love 3)

“I’ll ask if he can come, but I’m not telling him to invite his family. Don’t tell Mama, though. I mean, not about him coming, but the other shit.”

Monica chuckled. “That you’re in love with your roommate? No problem.”

“I’m not—” She hung up on me before I could finish. My sister was a whole lot like me.

Because obsessing was a thing I clearly did now, I spent the rest of the day thinking about the Fourth of July, Jonathan, and how I felt about him. I wasn’t any closer to acknowledging my feelings by the time he came home.

“Hey, you,” he said without looking at me.

“Nope. None of that. You’re not allowed to make this weird. This morning was awesome. I can’t wait to do it again, and you have a great ass.”

He laughed, and the sound vibrated in my chest. There was nothing quite like making Jonathan happy.

“Deal.”

“Wanna learn to make fajitas for dinner?”

“Yeah, that sounds…perfect.”

My phone buzzed. I looked at it to see a text from Mama. I expect you home for the Fourth. Bring Jonathan!

I smiled. “Also, do you have plans on Independence Day? My mom wants you to come eat with us and watch the fireworks. If you’re gonna be with your family, I get it, but—”

“I’m not.”

“It’s a date, then.” My stomach did somersaults.

“It’s a date.”

“Now go change so we can make dinner.”

“So bossy,” Jonathan replied, but he did.

We made dinner together, then relaxed on the couch and watched movies. Jonathan sat on the opposite end, doing whatever he did in his notebook. Every so often I would feel his eyes on me. When I looked, he’d turn back to the paper again.

As much as I’d always loved to go out and have fun, I realized while I sat there that this was somehow even better.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Jonathan

Over the last few days, things felt like they had changed, but also hadn’t. I was still sleeping in Danny’s bed at night. Mostly I figured it was because we were fucking around all the time. He was fingering me and blowing me every day, but I had yet to get my mouth on him. Every time, he shoved up onto his knees and jacked off on me, sometimes playing with his come afterward.

Last night he’d fallen in a heap on top of me, his jizz and our sweat making us stick together, before his mouth moved down close to my ear and he whispered, “I love painting your body with my load.”

Which was…hot. I loved the way he talked to me, the way he took charge, but then I felt strange about liking it. It had been hammered into my head my whole life—the way I was supposed to act, being macho. Letting another guy stick his fingers up my ass and dying for it to be his cock, while also liking that he set the pace, didn’t go hand in hand with that.

But it felt right in ways my other hookups with guys hadn’t. I’d also chosen men that would let me lead the way, and while I knew Danny would if I wanted to, I didn’t.

Still, I wanted to suck his dick. I needed to make that happen soon.

Maybe later tonight? Outside of work and baseball practice, we’d stayed in with each other all week. I’d hoped to continue that pattern today as well, but it was Saturday, and Elijah and Shaw had invited everyone to their place. Their usual BFF Tuesdays weren’t happening since Danny joined baseball with me, and I knew they weren’t hanging out as much, so I wasn’t going to be a spoilsport and try to stay in.

“Why do you look like you’re gonna throw up?” Danny asked.

“I don’t look like I’m gonna throw up.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

He was right. I hated that I was being stupid about this. I was going to hang out with a bunch of queer guys and their boyfriends, and…what were we? Danny and me? How would we act? How did I want to act?

Danny sighed. “If you want to stay home, we can stay home.”

I wasn’t sure if he realized how incredible he was, how he always thought about others. He would stay in with me if I asked, when I knew he wanted to go. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t stay home alone. “No, I want to go. I’ve just never…”

“We won’t act any differently. It’s not like I’m gonna drop to my knees and suck your dick in front of our friends. Maybe if your brother wasn’t there.”

He winked, and I couldn’t help but grin. “Come here.” I pulled him into a hug. This part, touching him, I’d gotten used to easily. I’d never wanted to feel anyone as much as I did Danny, and if he was going to let me, I wanted to be close to him as much as I could.