Messy Love (Stumbling into Love 3)

“I just moved into a two-bedroom in my building. He can rent a room with me,” I offered without really thinking it through. I hadn’t been in the market for a roommate, but this was Will’s brother, and there was something about Jonathan I liked—besides the fact that he was fucking gorgeous in this rugged way; tall, broad chest, stubble, and dark-brown hair that was sort of shaggy and slightly wavy… It was more than that, though. There was something so…lonely about him, and shit like that always got to me. I hated for anyone to feel that way.

Will’s eyes went wide. “Really? You’d do that?”

I shrugged. “Why not? He’s quiet, so I doubt he’ll be an annoying roommate. We got along all right the few times I’ve met him.”

“Oh, no. He’s my brother. He can definitely be annoying. But I worry about him. It’s been a tough year for him, and he’s coming to terms with a lot of things. He’s lost some of his friends since coming out, and his relationship with Brad and Nolan changed. I want… I want him to be okay. I want him to see that he can be gay and happy. Hell, he doesn’t even know any out queer people except the ones I’ve introduced him to.” Which was basically the people in this room, along with Kira and Ali, girlfriends and Jameson’s best friends, and Brooklyn, whom Elijah and I hung out with.

“I happen to know a lot about having fun, being queer, and being happy. I’ll show him the ropes.” Now Will looked a little nervous.

“I don’t know… Jonathan is…Jonathan.”

Whatever the fuck that meant.

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s a good idea,” Elijah added. “Danny’s good with people, and taking them under his wing. He did it with me. I bet it’d be good for Jonathan.”

I suddenly felt like I was getting in over my head, but I wouldn’t back out now.

“He probably won’t do it,” Will said. “He’ll see it as you feeling sorry for him or something.”

“Tell him I’m looking for a roommate and need help with the bills. Problem solved. He seems like the fixer type. He’d want to help if he thinks I’m the one who needs it.”

“Um…how the fuck do you know that about him? You’ve met him for like five seconds.”

“Because, baby, I’m that good.” I winked at Will, and Jameson threw a pea from his rice at me, making us laugh. “Ask him. If he says yes, give him my number. Or you can just give him my number, and I’ll talk to him. If he doesn’t go for it, then it wasn’t meant to be.”

Will agreed, and while we continued eating, I thought about Jonathan, about how shy he’d seemed at Will and Jameson’s that day, how quiet his deep voice had been, how he’d opened up a little more as we talked football and other random shit. I suddenly found myself really hoping I was going to have a new roommate soon.

CHAPTER THREE

Jonathan

“Your friend wants me to move in with him?”

Will rolled his eyes. “He wasn’t like, Oh please, Will, can you get your brother to live with me or my life will never be complete, or anything. We were at BFF Tuesdays the other day.”

“Wait. What the fuck is a BFF Tuesday?” Fitting in with Will was one of the things I struggled with. My friends and I didn’t talk like that. We didn’t call each other BFF or have BFF anything, and we sure as shit didn’t consistently do it on Tuesdays. But then, some of my friends stopped speaking to me when I came out, so there was that.

“Shit! Did I forget to tell you that part of the gay agenda?” Will said, and it was my turn to roll my eyes. “It’s dinner on a Tuesday, something Danny and Elijah started forever ago. Sometimes it’s just them, but others we all go. That’s not the point. Danny has a two-bedroom apartment, and he’s looking for a roommate to help pay the rent. I mentioned you were in the market for a place to live, and he offered, to be nice, because that’s the kind of thing people do. Plus, it’ll help him out, ya know? Save some money and all that. I figured it would be perfect because…”

“Because we’re both gay?”

“Yes, actually.”

Rubbing a hand over my face, I groaned. “I don’t know about this. It feels weird, like he feels bad for me—your older gay brother who treated you like shit your whole life while hiding in the closet.”

“What? No.” Will shook his head. We were in the condo he shared with Jameson, after we’d spent some time hanging out. I still couldn’t understand how he could forgive me at all, but he had, and this was my second time seeing him since the conversation with Nolan and Brad about taking a break. “First of all, like I said, this helps Danny too. He’s got an empty room sitting there and half the rent someone else could pay. Makes sense. But I want to explain something else to you. Danny isn’t just my friend; he’s yours too if you’ll let him. You guys talked quite a bit when everyone was here over winter break. The thing is, Jonathan, and this is something I hope you’ll learn, but queer people? We try and stick together. Now, that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own drama and we all get along with each other. We’re human, so believe me, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, but we try and have each other’s backs. I want you to have that too. I want you to have a place where you always feel safe to be yourself.”