She opened her mouth to tell him she didn't love him, that he was wrong, quite, quite wrong in his arrogant assumptions, but she couldn't do it. She might have been able to bluff her way if his own tragic truth about his childhood hadn't seared her heart so badly, or if the picture of a bewildered child, with eyes the colour of stormy seas, wasn't etched indelibly on the screen of her mind, but as it was she just couldn't lie again. And so she stared at him, her mouth half-open and her eyes panic-stricken.
'Annie?' He touched her face tenderly. 'I'm not your enemy.'
It was the gentleness that did it, that made her realise she couldn't live with herself—let alone him—if she were the tool used to sully his reputation and destroy his credibility.
'I don't want a relationship with you, Hudson, now or ever. And I want to go back to Tangier now, today,' she said shakily.
'You haven't answered my question, Annie,' he said evenly.
'I just did.' She forced her eyes not to flinch from his.
'No, that was like everything else you've said since the day we met again—garbage!' The words shot out like bullets, and she shrank back against the bedhead, shocked by the sudden change in him. But she shouldn't have been; she should have been expecting it, she thought in the next instant. He was using every trick he'd learnt since he'd first stepped into a courtroom, and he was good—he was very, very good at what he did. It stiffened her resolve in a way that would have made him kick himself if he'd known.
'Garbage maybe, fact definitely,' she said shortly.
'I can stay here as long as it takes, Annie,' he warned softly.
'You are the last man, the very last man in all the world I would get involved with, Hudson.'
It had the unmistakable ring of truth to it, and she saw the words register in his eyes as his face went white.
They sat for a full minute in a silence that was electric before he said, his voice toneless, 'You aren't denying you love me but you're saying you want nothing to do with me. Right?'
'Yes.' The one word said it all; she did not need to elaborate.
She stared down at her hands, tightly clasped together on the sheet, and swallowed painfully. This was terrible, worse than she ever could have imagined. And it was all her fault.
'Yes.' He repeated the word grimly, but as she glanced up at him again his face was blank, devoid of emotion. 'And you expect me to accept that?' he said slowly. 'After all we meant to each other, the plans we made, you really think I would be content to let you go back to your new life without any explanation?'
What could she say? She stared at him wide-eyed until she couldn't bear to look at him any longer, and dropped her gaze to her hands again, her nerves twisted and taut 'You have no choice,' she stated as firmly as she could, considering her heart was thundering in her ears so loudly it was deafening. 'It's what I want'
'And what about what I want?' he bit back angrily. 'Don't you think that comes into the equation at all? You don't think you're perhaps being a teeny bit selfish, Ann
ie?' The last carried such icy sarcasm that she felt herself shrivel up and die. 'I have needs, emotions too; I'm not made of stone, damn it'
'Yes, I know.' She desperately tried to keep all trace of the pain that was tearing her apart from showing. 'And I'm sorry.'
'Oh, sure,' he bit out savagely. 'I can see that'
'But I have to be true to myself, to what I want,' she carried on, trembling. 'I want to have a career, to make my mark, and I couldn't do that if I was involved with… with anyone. That's why I decided not to date in London; I want to put all my energy and time into my work. Some women might be able to divide themselves in half a dozen different directions, but I'm not like that, and I know… I know what I want'
'And to hell with the rest of the world?' He twisted away from her, moving to his side of the bed with his back to her as he raked his hands through his hair.
'If… if you like,' she said numbly.
'Funnily enough I don't like at all,' he said icily. 'You look so soft and sweet, Annie. How can that gentle exterior hide such ruthless purpose?'
'It's the way I am.' Would he believe her? He had to.
'So you are saying you would sacrifice anything we might have together without allowing me any opinion of my own?' he said grimly. 'You won't discuss why you left me two years ago and why you won't stay now? Right?'
'Yes.' Her fists were pressed into the hollow between her breasts, the pain in her heart so excruciating it was stopping her breath.
'To hell with it.' He stood up and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door violently behind him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Thanks to a wealthy friend of Hassan's who was pleased to put his private plane at their disposal, Marianne and Hudson were back in Tangier by early afternoon.