‘Feeling about you...?’ she asked bewilderedly.
‘I know I’m probably the last person in the world you want to see right now, but it’s important to her,’ he continued slowly. ‘Could you put your dislike of me aside for a day or two? Please?’ His voice was infinitely weary.
‘Of course I’ll come with you, Alex,’ she said quietly. ‘Come inside and I’ll pack a bag.’ As she hurriedly filled her small overnight case she purposely kept her mind blank, numbing her emotions in case they let her down. He looks ill, she thought as she left her bedroom to find him waiting by the open front door, leaning against the wall, eyes shut.
‘Why didn’t you sit down?’ She indicated an easy-chair in the lounge, her eyes wide with concern.
‘If I sit down I’m worried I shan’t get up again,’ he said with a poor attempt at a smile. ‘I haven’t slept in the last thirty-six hours and I wasn’t sleeping too well before then. Don’t worry, Swinton’s driving.’
‘I wasn’t thinking about who was driving,’ she said sharply, and he winced slightly at her tone.
‘Not tonight, Fabia,’ he said softly. ‘I really do believe I’m at the end of my tether, so just be a good girl and come quietly.’ He smiled again but it didn’t reach the glazed gold of his eyes. ‘Are you ready?’
Once in the warm interior of the big car he stretched out his legs with a weary groan, taking her hand in his as she sat beside him. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ he asked with a nod at his hand holding hers. ‘I just need to hang on to something at the moment.’
‘Glad to oblige,’ she said lightly past the lump in her throat. He looked suddenly vulnerable, younger, quite different from the hard, ruthless image of him she had carefully built up in her mind over the last ten days.
‘That’s all right, then.’ Even as he murmured the words he was asleep, and as the weather worsened into the blizzard conditions they had endured on the first journey she was immensely grateful for the big powerful car and the solid Swinton sitting silently behind the wheel. More than once her heart was in her mouth during the long drive and although the backs of her eyes ached with tiredness she couldn’t relax, vitally conscious of the dangerous conditions and even more of the exhausted man at her side, his dark head resting on her shoulder. She tried to quell the tenderness that was uppermost as she glanced down at him now and again but it was a tide that was unstoppable, and by the time the car drove into the long winding drive her emotions were raw.
‘Alex.’ She shook him gently and he opened dazed eyes that widened on seeing her face so close to his.
‘Fabia.’ He had taken her mouth in a long slow kiss before she realised what was happening and for a moment time was suspended as they clung together in the quietness of the car. Then Swinton coughed loudly as he climbed out of the driver’s seat and opened the door on Alex’s side.
‘We’ve arrived, Mr Cade.’ Alex came to with almost a start of surprise and stared vacantly for one more moment before realisation dawned.
‘Of course.’ Suddenly he was the efficient executive again, out of the car and round to her side before she could move and taking her arm as they walked through the thick snow to the front door. ‘I must have slept the journey away,’ he said in tones of comical amazement. ‘I’m sorry, Fabia, very rude of me.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she said lightly. ‘You were absolutely tired out.’ The feel of his mouth on hers was still with her as they entered the house, and its warmth stayed with her until they entered Isabella’s room and she saw just how ill the old lady was. The mauve lips tried to say her name as she leant over the bed but there was just the faintest whisper on the air and even that slight effort seemed to tire the tiny figure.
‘Don’t try and talk, Isabella,’ Fabia said gently. ‘I just wanted you to know I’m here with Alex and we’re staying with you until you’re better.’ She saw a glimmer of understanding in the tired eyes fixed on hers and then the old lady shut her eyes peacefully.
It was a long night. Alex tried to persuade her to rest on the sofa he had moved close to the bed and she tried to coax him to do the same, but when both realised neither was going to budge they sat side by side in the shadowed room, talking occasionally but mostly dozing, an ease in their relationship that had never been there before.
‘This is real life, isn’t it?’ he said abruptly at one point in the night when Isabella’s breathing had become more shallow. ‘All the tinsel and glitter of that crazy world I’m involved with, it doesn’t mean a thing.’
‘Do you really mean that?’ she asked quietly, and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye, a touch of the old arrogance in his face.
‘Of course I mean it,’ he said flatly. ‘I’ve got no illusions about some of the people I have to deal with both on a business and social level but that’s life.’ He shrugged slowly. ‘My grandmother made sure from an early age that I knew the difference between right and wrong—on her terms, and frankly her terms are good enough for me. We don’t always see eye to eye, of course,’ he smiled slightly, ‘but our values are the same.’
‘But Susan?’ She stopped abruptly and stared at him, horrified that she had blurted out the woman’s name.
‘Susan?’ He stared at her, puzzled. ‘What has Susan got to do with anything?’ The tawny eyes fixed on her tightly.
‘I thought you liked her,’ she said quickly. ‘People talk, you know...’ Her voice drifted away helplessly.
‘Oh, I know all right,’ he said bitterly. ‘If anyone knows, I do! Susan is an old friend, nothing more. I find the children delightful but I’m afraid their mother—’ He stopped suddenly. ‘Well, let’s just say my grandmother’s initial feeling about her many years ago proved itself valid.’
‘Did it?’ The surge of joy that swept through her was so strong that she lowered her eyes swiftly, afraid he would read her mind. Isabella had been scathing about Susan and he was saying he agreed with it!
‘I’m afraid Isabella is not one of Susan’s biggest fans,’ he said drily. ‘Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?’ He glanced down at her bent head and when he spoke again his voice was deep and soft. ‘I’ve learnt that the best things in life are often the hardest to get, but when you succeed it makes all the effort and heartache worthwhile. The trick is to keep trying, not to give up even when it appears hopeless. Sometimes you have to step back a while, bide
your time, but that’s just tactics. Not defeat.’
‘I see.’ She stared at him, her violet eyes huge in the shadowed darkness.
‘I doubt it,’ he said huskily. ‘But maybe you will one day.’
At some point in the night they must have both drifted off into a deeper sleep because the arrival of John with a pot of coffee at about six woke them suddenly. ‘How is she?’ Alex opened bleary eyes and peered up at John who was bending over the bed.