'They would be.' She prayed that she could say what she had to say without giving herself away. 'With someone like me they would be. Perhaps not the other women that you've had affairs with—you'd be the best judge of that—but with me it wouldn't be the same. I couldn't give myself to you without loving you,' she added quietly, knowing that it was the one thing that would send him away. 'And we both know that that is impossible.' Because you wouldn't allow yourself to love me back, she added silently as his face whitened. 'Even if you wanted to, which you don't.'
'Impossible. Yes, I see.' The withdrawal in his face and body was a physical thing although he didn't move an inch. 'Then I think we've taken this discussion as far as it can go,' he said coldly. 'Thank you for your frankness.'
She had to force the flood of love and passion and tenderness that rushed in unawares at the sight of his white, still face back into the deep recesses of her mind as he turned and walked over to the doorway. She was angry with him for hurting her like this, furious that he wasn't even prepared to try and understand how she felt, but overall the main emotion was one of terrible sadness at the inevitability of it all. She hated him and loved him all in the same breath, and the hopelessness of it all was too painful to bear.
'I gather by the state of this kitchen and your general air of weariness that things haven't gone too well,' he said frostily as he turned and surveyed her from the doorway with chillingly neutral eyes.
'No, everything's fine, but today we got a bit behind,' she answered mechanically as she lowered her head and busied herself wiping the big work surfaces as she spoke. 'I shall stay here an hour or so more and catch up, and then—'
'The temporary staff are arriving tomorrow?' he interrupted flatly.
'Yes.' She bit back the urge to fly at him for his rudeness. 'Mrs Goode is going to oversee them and explain everything that is needed. I understand Craig's relations are coming to stay on Friday?' He nodded without speaking as she darted a glance at him. 'Mrs Goode and Jinny have prepared the guest rooms, so everything is under control.'
'Hardly.' The hard gaze flickered round the chaos in the kitchen. 'I would suggest you bring a case with you tomorrow and plan on being here for the next three or four days. You did assure me at the time of accepting the job that that would be no problem,' he added icily as she began to shake her head at the suggestion.
'But…' Her voice faltered as she glanced round the room. There was nothing else for it; she would have to move into the flat for a couple of days. That way she would be right on hand for any emergencies that might arise, and at the very least it would give her another two or three hours of working time a day. And she needed every minute.
'Fine,' she agreed stiffly. 'Mitch and the others have been working here through the day since Monday, and in spite of how things may appear tonight I can assure you there are no problems.'
'Good.' There was no vestige of the ardent lover in the shuttered face that looked at her so coldly. 'Keep it that way, please.' And then he was gone and she leant shakily against the edge of the cupboards as her legs turned liquid.
The swine—the cold-blooded, callous swine… She found her mind listing a number of expletives as she struggled for composure. How dared he come back and proposition her like that anyway—she shook h
er head blindly as she fought back acid tears—and then virtually accuse her of not doing her job properly when she didn't fall into his arms? She loathed him—she did.
The fury began to take over and quell the trembling, bringing her bolt upright as she vented her wrath on the hapless kitchen, clearing up in half the time it normally took her. And to think that she had thought she loved him! She must have been crazy—
'Miriam?' Barbara's dark head appeared round the door a second after her knock. 'Reece said you might still be here. I'm glad we haven't missed you. I wanted you to meet Craig.'
'Barbara.' She had quite forgotten that Reece's sister and her fiancé were due to arrive that evening, but now, as a massive giant of a man followed Barbara into the room, she just caught a glimpse of Reece scowling darkly in the doorway before her gaze switched to Craig's smiling face.
'Hiya…' She found herself enfolded in a pair of giant arms that would have done credit to any Mr Universe and felt her ribs creak in protest. 'I understand we have a lot to thank you for, Miriam,' Barbara's fiancé said cheerfully as he moved back a pace and surveyed her with a pair of the bluest eyes she had ever seen. 'It can't have been easy to take over like this,'
'It's what she gets paid for.' Reece's voice was liquid ice as he moved to their side, and his grey eyes were splintered points of light in his dark face as he glared at Craig.
'Well, yeh…' Craig was clearly out of his depth, and Miriam couldn't blame him. She had never seen such coldness in another human being's face, and all the poor man had done was thank her for helping them out with the wedding. She glared at Reece in her turn, quite forgetting Craig and Barbara for a moment, and they looked on with mounting interest at the little scene being enacted in front of them.
'Nevertheless, it is nice to know someone round here appreciates all the hard work,' she said pointedly, before turning to Craig with the most gracious smile she could summon in the circumstances. 'And it's really nice to meet you at last.'
'Likewise.' Craig grinned warmly, his wide smile showing white in the tanned darkness of his face.
He really was a prime specimen of manhood, Miriam thought detachedly as she gazed up into the boyishly attractive face that was topped by a mass of sun-bleached, overlong hair, but although she could appreciate what Barbara found so appealing she had to admit that he left her cold. And when he turned to Barbara, putting his arm about her waist as he pulled her into him, she could see that the handsome Australian had eyes for no one but his bride to be.
'This little lady has been extolling your virtues all the way down here, haven't you, angel?'
'We are grateful, Miriam.' Barbara obviously recognised the impending storm as she glanced at her brother's face again before ushering Craig out of the room quieter than they had come in. 'I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm just going to fix Craig something to eat.'
'No way.' They heard him laughing as the door began to close. 'I intend to walk down the aisle on my wedding day, angel, not be wheeled down in a chair, suffering from acute food poisoning. Lead me to the kitchen and I'll organise the food.'
'Well?' Reece stared at her for a good few seconds and she willed herself to return the glare without wilting. 'Do they look like the ideal couple to you?'
'Do they have to?' she answered tightly. 'It's what's inside that counts—'
'Don't start that dewy-eyed nonsense on me again,' Reece warned frostily, 'especially after the little display you and the incredible hulk there put on for the rest of us.'
'What?' She stared at him in amazement. 'What on earth are you suggesting?'
'I'm not suggesting anything,' he countered grimly. 'I'm stating in plain English—which is something else Craig isn't too good at—that he was flirting outrageously and you were encouraging him.'