—How do they handle bad advice they receive from one another?
—How do they handle giving one another bad news or sharing the hard truth?
—While Da-Asia, Tamia’s coworker, isn’t a 3T, should Tamia have shared with her the office’s attitude about her style of dress and way of communicating?
—How does your sisterhood circle compare to this one?
—What are some of your circle’s traditions and tips?
Topic: Hair
In the first section of the novel, the reader learns that Tamia both perms and presses her hair to achieve a desired flatness. She admires women with specific grades of “good” hair and even when she meets women with natural hair at the Freedom Project, she only admires it for its length. Before she agrees to cut her hair, she considers why she feels this way and why her hair has meant so much to her during her entire life.
Questions
—What did Tamia seem to appreciate so much about her flat hair?
—Did Malik’s insistence that she’d be more beautiful with natural hair influence her decision?
—How attached are you to your hair and/or hairstyles?
—What would it take for you to make the kind of decis
ions Troy made about changing her hair and not wearing a wig? Have you already? Why?
—Do you think more black women would wear natural hair if the men they desired requested and celebrated it?
—Do you believe black men care if you have straight or nappy hair?
Topic: Sex and Spirituality
Afraid that she will negatively influence her husband on his spiritual path, Troy refuses Kyle sex and endures nightmares of beheading him should she give into his constant sexual overtures. In contrast, Kyle, who was a virgin before he got married, is experiencing a sexual awakening and seems to desire the exact risqué sexual behaviors Troy feels will pull him farther from his mission as a man of God—per the women in her mission group at the church.
Questions
—Was Troy correct in abstaining from having certain kinds of sex with her husband to avoid spiritual corruption?
—Is it okay for a man of God to have such desires as Kyle requests of his wife—can they get freaky?
—Should one’s sexual desires/practices be separated from his/her spiritual life?
—What are some of the myths and/or facts of sexuality that you’ve heard at church?
Topic: Finance
Troy’s acceptance of Kyle’s being her “provider” meant that she’s now a “baller on a budget.” Yet, she can’t seem to ball on her budget, so she continues to use her family’s wealth to support her hugely expensive buying habits. After a while, this leads to what would’ve been a bunch of bad credit for most people, but is simply an empty bank account for Troy. Her decision to dip into church funds compromises her marriage, Kyle’s position, and the entire church.
Questions
—Should Troy only live on her husband’s salary if her family is wealthy?
—Why do you believe Troy shops so much?
—Do you make more money or have more wealth than your partner? How would you handle it if he/she suggested that you live within the means only he/she could provide? Could you do it?
—Do you believe you have a shopping addiction or know someone who might have one?
Topic: Religion