“Whatever,” Tamia said. “The real question is, do you believe his black ass? Because you know a brother is prone to telling big lies in situations like this. Especially if he got wind of the run-in you and Miata had.”
“True,” Tasha said. “Did you run the lie test on him? Check for the twenty-one signs of shammery?”
“Yes,” I said, laughing. It was a list we’d put together of the signs that meant a man was lying. “And the only one he fell short on was number nineteen.”
“Too much information being given for no reason,” Tamia said.
“If I had a dollar for every time a man gave his lie away with that one,” Tasha added, “I’d be Ivana Trump.” She gave Tamia five and we all started laughing. Tasha was correct. Most men fell into at least three of the points on our guy lie list: If he wasn’t stuttering, he was trying to divert the blame or cry.
“Damn, y’all, he cried.” I remembered number twenty-seven.
Tamia laughed. “That’s a good one. It usually makes you cry too—”
“And forget the problem,” Tasha said, cutting her off. “Well, we’re clear that there may be some untruths in the mix, but the important question is…did you two have sex?”
“No. He just left.”
“Damn! This one is harder than I thought.” Tasha fell back in her seat like a mob boss. “Well, I guess it’s time to move on to step four: Make Him Jealous. Your Julian needs a little booster shot to remind him of what he’s missing. Yep, it’s time to pull out the big guns.” She cut her eyes mischievously. “And I have just the right man in mind.”
“What? A man?” I nearly choked on my food. I’d completely forgotten that I was supposed to be finding a man to make Julian jealous. I already had Kyle as my mini-distraction—since he was a “friend”—but Julian had already met him and he knew Kyle was a preacher and a friend of my dad’s.
“Yes. I have the perfect man.” Tasha bit into her croissant.
“Who?” I asked. I never let Tasha set me up. Whenever she hooked me up, it was with one of Lionel’s teammates. And though Lionel was a jewel, they were all jerks. I remember one I went out with actually had five children by five different women! I was disgusted by the time the date was over. He kept trying to defend his situation, saying he had enough money to support all of his children. But when I asked him their ages at dinner, he could recall only three. It was all over for him by dessert.
“Darious J,” Tasha said. Tamia and I looked at each other from across the table. Was she talking about “the” Darious J? The R&B singer who’d snagged two Grammys last year and looked like Ginuwine—without the S-curl? He was fine as hell. Hell, I’d be jealous of Julian if I saw them out together.
“‘Put It Down on Me’?” Tamia asked, naming Darious’s latest song, which was playing twenty-four hours a day on the radio.
“Yes. He’s going to be your date,” Tasha said, smiling at me.
“How are you going to hook that up?” I felt like a little girl at a New Edition concert. I was almost giddy.
“Darious and Lionel go way back. We had him over for dinner last night and I told him I had someone I wanted him to meet. He’s game.” Tasha continued to eat her food as if we were discussing movie plans.
“Wait, let me get this straight: Darious J was at your house for dinner?” Tamia asked, grabbing Tasha’s fork before she could stuff another forkful of food into her mouth. “And you didn’t call me? I’m single, too. You know?”
“You told him about me?” I asked.
“Calm down, y’all. Darious is fine, but he ain’t all that.” Tasha played with her fork. “In person, he’s kind of average. A little short.”
“I knew it,” Tamia said, shaking her head. “There’s no way one man could be that divine. It’s impossible.”
“Anyway, he’s perfect for this plan,” Tasha went on. “When Julian sees Darious with you, he’ll drop to his knees and beg for you to come back to him. No man can handle the thought of Mr. ‘Put It Down on Me’ being all up in the bed with his lady.” Tasha and I toasted our mimosas. “When the time is right, I’ll set you guys up, and you’ll be on your way to the next step.”
“Wow,” I said, going over my wardrobe in my head. What was I going to wear on my date with Darious J? I’m saying, I’m no groupie, and I’d never seriously date any singer, but there was something about how Darious danced in those videos that just wouldn’t quit. I wondered if he could move around like that in bed.
“Okay, so everyone told their secrets,” Tasha said. “Now it’s time for my news.” She paused. “I really wanted to wait until things were final and all, but with all of this good news going around, I can’t hold it in anymore—”
“Girl, spit it out,” I demanded.
“I told Lionel everything last week, like you said, Troy. And we’re going to do it. We went to
the doctor together last week and we’re going to try. We’re going to have a baby.”
“Ohhhh,” Tamia and I cooed. We gave Tasha kisses on both cheeks.
“We have an appointment with the doctor next week,” Tasha added, clapping.