“Wait out here,” I said, turning the doorknob. “I’ll be right back.”
Kyle was sitting in the suite exactly where I’d left him. His hands were folded on his lap and he had his eyes closed.
“Mr. Wonderful is back to fix everything,” he said without opening his eyes. I sat down on the couch beside him and placed my hand on top of his. “You want me to leave?” He opened his eyes and looked at me.
I nodded my head yes.
“I’m sorry, Kyle. But he came a long way to see me,” I said gently.
“Yeah, he did. He came a long way.” Kyle got up from the couch. “You know what? This is exactly—” He stopped and picked up his Bible. “Never mind,” he went on. “I won’t let you do that to me. I won’t.” He slipped the Bible into his travel bag. “Goodbye, Troy,” he said, walking out. “Goodbye.”
Step Six: Let Your Feelings Be Known
That night, in my hotel room, just miles away from the Hollywood sign, Julian made love to me like I was a movie star. He made a line down my spine with his tongue and ran his fingers up and down my thighs. He must’ve whispered “I love you” in my ear a thousand times. As we moved together beneath the sheets, I could feel his heart beating against mine and I knew he meant every word he said. I struggled to hold my breath to experience every sensation that ran through my body as his chest rubbed up against my back. I had to feel him all around me, inside of me, in order to believe that he was really there and that it wasn’t just one of my dreams. I forgot about Tamia, I forgot about Tasha. It was just about me and my man.
I closed my eyes and imagined that we were making love in our own home just days after our wedding. Julian’s wedding band was smiling on his finger between us and everything, everything was perfect. Finally, he was mine…again.
By the time morning came at 6, I was lying peacefully in his arms, trying to figure out if I should jump out of bed and run through the streets of L.A. screaming, “He’s mine,” or lie still in Julian’s arms and pray the moment would never end. Somewhere between trying to decide what outfit I would wear to run down the street and coming up with something to say to the police when they arrested my ass, I remembered something—the Take Her Man Plan.
I ran down the “Six Steps to Success” in my head and realized that while I wasn’t even thinking about it, after the disaster with Kyle i
n the park, I had completed just about every step. My reaction to Tamia’s brush with death and Tasha’s disappearance, while awful and totally unplanned by me, was step five, “Damsel in Distress.” Just as Tasha had said he would, Julian responded by coming to my rescue and I, as the step says to, “fell into his arms.”
I turned to face Julian in the bed. Watching him sleep, his mouth open just wide enough for me to slip a nickel inside, I couldn’t believe Tasha’s little plan had worked. That day, sitting across from Julian at the sushi bar as he’d broken my heart and given back the key to my apartment, I’d thought all hope was gone. I’d thought it was over, just as Julian said, and I had been ready to give up. But the Take Her Man Plan had worked and here he was, the man of my dreams, sleeping soundly in front of me, just hours after he’d confessed his love.
There was only one thing left to do: step six, “Let Your Feelings Be Known.”
“Julian,” I whispered tenderly. “Are you asleep?”
“Not now,” he mumbled, shaking his head sleepily. “I just woke up when you called my name.” He opened his eyes, squinting from the sunlight behind me and smiled. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I was just up thinking. That’s all.”
“Okay. About what?”
“Julian, what’s going to happen when we get back to New York?”
“What do you mean?” Julian slid his arms around me beneath the sheets.
“I mean, what are we going to do…about us…about everything you said last night? Do you remember everything you said?” I asked.
“Of course, baby,” Julian said, scratching his scalp—he always did that to wake himself up. “I told you I love you and I want to be with you.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, is that it, Troy?” Julian looked at me. “Are you worried about us being together?” He sat up in the bed. “Because there’s no reason for you to be nervous about anything. I know what I want and that’s you. Okay?”
“Yes, that’s fine,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know how I feel, too—how I feel about you.”
“That’s great, Troy,” Julian said, getting out of the bed. “And I really want to hear it, but first I need to go to the bathroom.” He tiptoed out of the room.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll tell you when you get back.”
I turned back around to face the window. The sun looked like somebody had tied it to the side of the building—like I could reach out of the window and touch it. It was so big and beautiful. I began to think of Kyle and wondered how he was doing. I knew I’d hurt him really bad, but I had to put Julian first. While my feelings for Kyle were growing stronger, Kyle was my friend, just as I’d told him time and time again, and I had to separate the two.
Just as I was about to close my eyes and say a little prayer that Kyle would forgive me for what I’d done, Julian’s pager went off. The vibration rattled so hard, it fell off the nightstand and cracked open. I bent down from the bed to pick it up and put it back. I held it to make sure it wasn’t broken and put it on the nightstand.
What the hell is he doing in there? I thought, laying back down in the bed. Please don’t let him stink up the whole suite, I said to myself and closed my eyes. I yawned and opened my eyes again to find the pager staring at me from the nightstand. Before I could even think about closing the screen, the word Miata found my eyes and the pager ended up in my hands.