This place might be my own brand of hell.

My heart raced, and I took deep breaths to calm down.

Don’t lose control, not here. You’ve managed to hide it for so long.

I moved just inside the door and stood in the corner, observing the crowd of people, almost all of whom I knew. I’m known for being, shall we say, distant and prickly, no pun intended. I’m rather proud of it actually, since I’ve worked so hard to cultivate it. Even so, I wasn’t eager to charge into the crowd.

The noise in the bar was so loud it was causing a vibration inside of me from the combination of the music blasting from the juke box, to the yelling conversations in order to be heard over the blasting music, to the laughter and catcalls from one friend to another. I really didn’t want to be here, but a couple of my sisters had texted to tell me they would see me at Kelsey’s party, which was their way of informing me that I better show up.

My sisters liked to try to force me to go out because I was, according to them, “socially awkward”, so it was unlikely that I would get a reprieve until one of them saw me here with her own eyeballs. What they termed socially awkward behavior was really me desperately trying to hide my “condition” for years. And they knew it. I considered leaving, but Kelsey had asked me to come. Since she was the only person outside of my family that I dared call a friend, I figured that I should make an effort.

In this case, an effort meant coming straight from the office after a twelve-hour day, defending the various citizens of my hometown in their criminal cases. I was a brand new lawyer just getting my feet wet, and I charged a low rate, so the very people that sneered at me in The Shack were the first ones to hit me up when they were arrested for indecency or OUI.

I dressed very conservatively, even by lawyer standards, because my secret forced me to. Because of that secret, I had decided long ago that it was best if men left me alone, and dressing conservatively was the best way to assure that happened. And I must say that it worked pretty well. Ever since that awful night in the backyard, I knew that I would never be normal. I would never be able to emotionally attach to a man.

Unnoticed, I watched from the entryway as Kelsey moved around the various groups of people in the bar area of the Shack, laughing and making witty comments that made the groups respond with smiles and laughter of their own. She was blonde and petite, a pixie in a sundress, practically spreading fairy dust with her smiles. I had long since given up wondering why we were friends, and accepted that she had refused to go away when I had abandoned all of my other friends.

We had grown up across the

street from each other, and even though I had five sisters she might as well have been my sixth. So when she had asked me to come to her impromptu gathering at the Shack earlier that day, saying she wouldn’t be able to have fun if she knew I was alone at home, I had agreed.

Kelsey saw me and fluttered over. A few people gave me the hairy eyeball when they realized whom she was fluttering over to, but I was used to it. Nobody understood why Kelsey put up with me. In truth, neither did I.

“Rose! You said you’d be here after work. It’s 8:30!”

“That’s when work ended for me, Kelsey,” I said, as she dragged me by the elbow to the bar.

She pushed her way through the crowd like a woman on a mission, and apparently the mission was to get me a drink, because she didn’t stop moving until my rib cage hit the bar with an audible thud.

“Jesus, Kelsey!” I said, as I rubbed my stomach, dropped my briefcase at my feet and wondered how long this misery would last.

“Two beers and two shots of tequila,” Kelsey said to Harry, the bartender. Harry had gone to high school with us, and never liked me. He smirked at me and said, “Gee Rose, slumming it with the little people these days, huh?”

“How’s that community service going over at the town dump, Harry?” I replied, as people who apparently needed a drink right that minute jostled me from behind.

He frowned, placed the drinks in front of us and said, “Bitch” under his breath as he walked away.

I laughed, and with my mood much improved I clinked shot glasses with Kelsey, and downed the tequila. It burned, but I figured if I was forced to endure this place and these people for even a little while, I needed something to soften the hard edges. I had managed over the last six years to control my urges, but places like this didn’t help. So, I avoided them. I was a bit of a hermit, and I liked it that way.

The crowd had thinned a little, so Kelsey and I grabbed our beers and turned to watch the room with our backs leaned against the bar. We saw my sisters Mae and Marissa enter the bar, and Kelsey called out to them.

I watched as they took five minutes to walk across the same distance that I had just crossed in twenty seconds, because so many people stopped them along the way to say hello. They had blonde hair and blue eyes like all of us Brennan’s, but the similarities ended there. I was a monster, a vampire, a curse upon the world. The familiar shame swept through me.

Mae reached us at the bar first, where she hugged Kelsey and then me, whispering in my ear as she did, “You couldn’t at least put your hair down?”

I ignored that, and turned to get her a beer from Harry when she pulled the pin out that held my hair in place. I looked at her as my hair fell down and completely covered my face. I had a strong resemblance to Cousin It, I was sure of it.

“Sexy,” she said, as she took my beer out of my hand instead of waiting for her own.

I swept my hair off my face as Marissa walked up and greeted us all with kisses. When she reached in to kiss me she said, “Not that fucking suit again, Rose,” to which I replied that she was on her own to get a drink.

She elbowed past me and flirted with Harry, while I rolled my eyes so hard I probably pulled a muscle. She ordered a round for all of us and instructed him to keep them coming. Smartest thing she’d said so far.

We all did a shot and a pleasant buzz swept through me, and I thought maybe this night wouldn’t end in ruin after all.

“Rose, we think you need a guy,” said Kelsey.

There goes my buzz.

Tags: Alyse Zaftig Paranormal
Source: readsnovelonline.net