Kate thought back. She really didn’t like thinking about her childhood. She’d been happy to get out on her own and away from her family.
“Well, my father was overbearing. And very critical.”
For as long as she could remember, he had constantly berated her mother. Then as Kate and her brother got older, he’d started on them, too. He’d often told Kate she would never amount to anything, and she was sure that had led to a lack of trust in her own abilities. Something she’d had to fight against her whole life, including getting through college. She’d had to keep telling herself she could do it and not let his constant voice in her head discourage her.
“My mother never really stood up to him,” Kate continued.
Her mother hadn’t protected Kate and her brother from the emotional abuse. As an adult, Kate realized her mother had been incapable of doing so, but as a child, Kate had felt that lack of protection as a deep betrayal.
Neither of her parents had been a very good role model, and Kate had certainly learned not to trust authority figures, even when they meant well, like her mother had.
A big reason Kate had been attracted to Matt was because while he was authoritative, he was slow to anger, he stood up for what he believed, and he encouraged his subordinates to grow and thrive.
“It sounds like you don’t want to be overwhelmed by a domineering man, because from your mother’s example you’re afraid it makes you weak. And you said your father was critical of you. Was Matt critical of you?”
Kate gazed at her. “No. He was actually very encouraging.”
“So, although he dominated you, he was nothing like your father.” Ellen squeezed Kate’s hand. “You know, maybe you should talk to him and try to work out your issues. You said you still loved the guy.” She shrugged. “Maybe you could still make it work. I mean, he is gorgeous.” She winked. “And you said he’s rich. He’s certainly worth a little effort. Maybe you can convince yourself that it’s okay being submissive—which it is, as long as it’s only in the bedroom—or learn to be the one who takes charge. Who knows? He might just love it.”
Ellen’s total about-face flummoxed Kate. “A minute ago, you were telling me to call the police on the guy. What gives?”
“Well, honey, that was before I realized you were running from yourself, not him.”
* * *
That night, Kate replayed the conversation with Ellen in her head. It had been good talking to her about her relationship with Matt. She’d never told anyone how she reacted to Matt, and Ellen’s acceptance of it, even encouragement, helped.
But Ellen was wrong about Kate being able to make it work. Kate had thought about that a lot during the lonely nights after she’d walked away. Even if things hadn’t turned out so terribly wrong, she didn’t believe the two of them could ever have made it work.
When they’d still been together, she had tried to change how she reacted to him. Even tried to take control. It hadn’t turned out as she’d expected.
A few months into the relationship, Kate had been feeling a little overwhelmed by her submissiveness. How could any woman in this day and age allow herself to be controlled by a man? Especially after women had fought for so long to have control in a man’s world. She’d felt like a traitor to womankind.
Yet, she’d loved being with Matt. When she realized she was falling in love with him, she’d decided it was time to do something about it and try something new.
It had been on a Saturday afternoon, and she’d been spending the weekend with him at a luxurious country house he’d rented. He’d had a few hours of work to do that day, so he’d been in the den at the computer, while she’d been out by the pool.
As she lay stretched out on the lounge chair, she imagined Matt sitting beside her, wearing only a bathing suit, his muscular chest and well-sculpted abs on display. She’d love to convince him to go skinny-dipping with her. The thought of him stripping off his swimming trunks and walking to the pool with the hot afternoon sun blazing on his naked body as his large cock swung back and forth set her insides quivering. He’d dive into the water and surface, his body glazed in glistening water. Then he’d walk toward her and … things would progress nicely from there.
She sighed, an image of his big, hard cock in her mind. She licked her lips, wishing she could wrap her hands around it right now. Wishing she could take it in her mouth.
Then she realized there was nothing stopping her. He was only a few yards away, with only a brick wall between them. She could march in the patio door and down the hall in ten seconds flat. The fact that he was working and she’d have to coax him away made her realize this was a great way to turn the tables. Give her a chance to be in control.
She put her book on the teak table beside the lounge chair and stood up. Then a grin curled her lips. It would be much easier to distract him from his work if she was naked. She reached behind her and unfastened her bikini top, then wiggled her bottoms down her legs and off. As she walked toward the patio door, she cupped her right breast, and grazed her thumb tip over the nipple, sending sparks of awareness dancing through her. She flicked back and forth until it hardened.
She slid open the patio door and stepped inside, shivering a little as she stepped from the eighty-degree weather outside to the cool air-conditioned house. Both nipples tightened to hard nubs, but when she reached Matt’s office door, she toyed with them to ensure both were hard and thrusting straight out. Then she knocked.
“Come in,” he said.
She turned the doorknob and stepped into the room.
Matt sat at his desk, staring at the computer. He didn’t even glance up when she entered.
“Hi,” she said, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Hi,” he said without looking up, totally engrossed in whatever was on his screen, his fingers flickering across the keyboard with a tapping sound.
She pursed her lips, but strolled across the room undaunted, her hips swaying. Not that he noticed.