Everything happens for a reason.
She’d always hated that expression. It was annoyingly vague. And why did it take forever to understand the reason something happens?
“I’d already planned my future.” Doreen shifted her stance. “I was supposed to spend it with you.”
Yes, you made plans—and God had a good laugh. Take it from me. He’s still laughing.
“Right. ‘We plan, God laughs.’” Doreen sighed. “I resented you for the longest time for leaving me. I resented God, too.”
>
He still loves you. We both do.
She could almost swear it was his voice in her head, his presence beside her. She wasn’t as cold anymore.
“But then the opportunity with Books and Bakery developed. Ean came home. And I was elected mayor. Those things probably wouldn’t have happened if you were still alive. Sometimes I feel guilty about that.”
Don’t! You were right to take those opportunities. You aren’t supposed to pack your life into a box and wait to die just because I did.
“I hadn’t planned on falling in love again, either. But marrying Alonzo feels like giving up the last little bit of our past, leaving only the memories.”
That happens. At least the memories are really good.
“Am I wrong to be in love with Alonzo?” Doreen rubbed her forehead, trying to relax the tension between her brows. “I’m not trying to replace you.”
Life is for the living, Doreen. You’re still living.
“If you were the one left behind, would you remarry?” She strained to hear his answer.
I don’t know. Maybe I would, if I found someone who made me as happy as you made me. Wouldn’t you want me to be happy, Doreen?
She scowled. “I wouldn’t want you to replace me.”
No one could replace you, sweetheart. But would you want me to spend the rest of my life mourning you?
She was so tempted to say yes, but that wasn’t the truth. “No, I’d want you to be happy.”
And I want the same for you. I like Alonzo. He was a good friend and I know he’ll be a great husband for you. Don’t pass up another chance to be in love and to be happy. That’s what I want for you.
Doreen couldn’t wipe away the tears fast enough. “Then why do I feel guilty?”
I don’t know. It’s silly, isn’t it?
Frustration overwhelmed her. Doreen squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands inside her black leather gloves. “Paul, Paul, tell me what I should do.”
Only you can do that, sweetheart. The decision to marry Alonzo—or not—is yours.
Doreen opened her eyes. She was no closer to knowing what Paul would want. Maybe that was the point. The question wasn’t what would Paul want. What did she want?
Doreen’s hands shook as she studied Trinity Falls Cuisine’s dinner menu Wednesday night, Christmas Eve. She felt like a young girl on her first date, just like the first time she’d gone out with Alonzo.
She laid down the menu and looked across the booth at her companion. He was so handsome in his deep plum wool sweater. It was her favorite. It darkened his beautiful coffee-colored eyes. His rich, wavy, dark brown hair reflected the light from the lamp fixture above them. He must have shaved right before he left his house. The skin over his squared, café au lait jaw looked smooth and touchable. Doreen’s palms tingled.
Alonzo looked up and caught her gaze. “Everything all right?”
“I’m fine.” Doreen tried to read Alonzo’s expression. “What made you decide to go out to dinner tonight?”
“It’s Christmas Eve.” Alonzo reached across the table to twine his fingers with hers. “You’re cooking a big meal tomorrow. Tonight’s the perfect time to pamper you.”