He wanted to say something—anything. He just didn’t know what.
‘We shouldn’t have done that,’ she said quietly.
Her words from the car played back to him. ‘Not this again.’
She sent him a look and his frustration died, guilt crushing him. ‘I’m sorry. I just needed you to remember what it’s like—what it could still be like.’
She held his eyes, her expression one of such misery it pulled him apart. ‘Please, Marcus, if you care for me in any way, promise me this will stop.’
He took hold of her upper arms, his thumbs stroking her coat, his caress aimed to soothe and reassure. ‘I’m not asking for a relationship.’
‘Don’t you get it?’ she blurted, her eyes glistening. ‘I can’t keep having sex with you without wanting one.’
The tightness twisted him up inside. She wants more.
‘I can see you understand,’ she said, her eyes skimming his face, turning hard. ‘So promise me?’
He released her, raking an unsteady hand through his hair as
he struggled to take it in.
‘Promise?’ she pressed.
‘Okay, okay—I promise.’ He was barely aware of the words coming out of his mouth, so lost was he in her revelation.
‘Good.’
She stepped out of his hold, and through the haze he could see her composure falling into place.
‘I think some space will do us good,’ she said, looking over to where the alley met the main street. ‘With Mum’s health on the decline, I’m going to be needed at home more.’
He frowned at her. ‘In Yorkshire?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded calmly, without looking back. ‘I need to take the pressure off my sister and make sure she gets her education.’
Slowly he nodded, but the twisted feeling in his gut was getting worse. He’d called it fun, just sex, so why did her refusal disturb him so much? Was it because she wanted more? Or because she was intending to be away more?
Christ, he had no clue.
‘How often do you need to go back?’ he asked tonelessly.
‘I don’t know.’
She shrugged, and her poise was starting to grate against the loss of his own.
‘Fifty-fifty split, I think.’
He nodded, the impact of her words sinking in. ‘Of course you must go if they need you.’
He suddenly felt like an utter shit. Here he was, pursuing her, when she clearly had bigger things to worry about.
He should be grateful he was avoiding that future complication too.
So why did it feel as if his worst nightmare was coming true?
He thrust a shaky hand through his hair. The rollercoaster inside his head was scaring him.
‘Let’s go.’ He forced himself to move forward, to head for the high street, and she stepped into line beside him. ‘We can discuss a strategy to make the split work on the return journey.’