The telltale flicker in Jonas’s cheek told Sidonie that she pushed him to the edge. Her belly knotted with trepidation, but she couldn’t give up now. She hovered so close to shattering the final barriers between them. Their first night together had left her with a confusion of vivid impressions. Since then, Jonas had blindfolded her. This was her last chance to watch his expression as his body united with hers. She wanted to cherish that memory against the future. She meant Jonas to look into her eyes as he took her, so she didn’t remain some faceless, blindfolded woman he pleasured, but Sidonie, Sidonie, Sidonie. And that recognition would blast to ashes the tiny but distinct separation he maintained between them, even now.
She was such a savage. She meant to carve her name on his heart in bloody letters that scarred him more deeply than the wounds on his face. She meant to be unforgettable.
At least that was the plan.
“Devil take you, Sidonie.” The aching despair in his low baritone made her heart cramp with anguish. She waited for him to say more but he remained silent. He glowered at her as if he hated her. Right now he probably did. Even sitting taut and naked with one hand fastened to the bedpost, he looked formidable enough to make her quail if she wasn’t quite so determined.
“Don’t refuse me, Jonas,” she said softly, laying her hand over his racing heart. His hunted expression told her he felt under attack.
He raised his free hand to his face before he realized how the gesture betrayed him. Dear God, she’d seen that gesture before. What a slow-top she was, not to realize its significance. A world of pain lay buried inside this man. She’d always known it. But sometimes, like now, his suffering made her so furious, she wanted to squall like a banshee.
He tugged at the cord. “You breach our arrangement, madam.”
Not bella, not tesoro, not amore mio, or any other extravagant Italian endearment. Madam.
If she’d needed proof how her siege angered him, she had it. Still she stood her ground, trying to ignore the apprehension kicking in her stomach. “You released me from that arrangement,” she said through stiff lips.
Restlessly he rolled over to concentrate on undoing the cord. “I’ve had enough.”
“Don’t,” she said, her voice choked.
His fingers paused in their work and he shot her a coruscating glare. Astounding how those silvery eyes incinerated bravery to ashes. If she faltered now, she’d never have another chance to challenge him.
Of course you won’t. Tomorrow you’re heading back to Barstowe Hall.
She strove to ignore the taunting voice in her head. Tears stung her eyes. “It’s my turn to ask you to trust me.”
Like his voice, his smile held more regret than rage. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions, bella.”
To her astonishment, after a tense silence, he lay flat on his back and extended his free hand above his head. Compassion scored her heart as she recognized what the concession cost him.
His attention didn’t waver as she tied his wrist to the other bedpost. Quickly she circled the bed to tighten the first bond. Deliberately she didn’t look at the magnificent body arrayed against the sheets. Her hands were unsteady enough.
She moved to secure his feet. She felt vibrating tension as she lifted lean ankles. He was far from easy with what she did. That still he submitted made her belly clench with gratitude.
“Will you blindfold me?” She heard how he struggled for an offhand tone. His strained expression made the scars stand out white and shocking against his face. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. He was naturally a dominant male. Even if she hadn’t long ago guessed that most of his games stemmed from self-consciousness about his injuries, she knew he’d hate the way she seized control.
Although there were definite benefits in what she did. She couldn’t help the way her gaze lingered as it traveled up his body to his face. “Do you want me to blindfold you?”
“What I want doesn’t count.”
Her lips twitched. “You sound like you’re five years old.”
To her relief, he laughed, the sound reluctant and rusty. “Easy to mock when you have me where you want.”
This time, her eyes swept him with deliberate languor, lingering on the virility that rose hard and demanding between his thighs. “I definitely want you.”
His eyes narrowed until silver glinted between sooty lashes. “Show me.”
Chapter Twenty
Jonas stretched on an excruciating rack of desire and shame. Stoically he stared into the mirror above, but the view offered no reassurance. A big ugly man lay naked and spread-eagled on a wide bed. His cock stood at attention and his eyes glittered with panic.
He was hers to do with as she willed. The thought was loathsome, even as his rational mind reminded him this was Sidonie who had never treated him as less than a man. But old wounds of mockery and disgust barely healed. He just had to look at his scars to know that some old wounds didn’t heal at all. This vulnerability was why he never surrendered control when he took a woman.
When Sidonie placed her hand flat on his abdomen, he jerked at the radiating heat. His belly tautened until it was hard as stone. His cock throbbed like the very devil. And she hadn’t even started her seduction.
She moved her hand in tantalizing circles. His heart thumped fit to burst and his breath kept jamming in his throat. “You didn’t need to bind me.”