As quickly as her desire for this man had raged it turned to anger of equal intensity. ‘Really, Jed,’ she scorned as she shook off his grasp on her arm, moving away from him, eyes glittering with the force of her anger. ‘You flatter yourself if you think that this—’ she made a flippant gesture that encompassed everything that had happened between them in the last few minutes ‘—meant any more to me than it did to you.’ She gave a hard laugh. ‘I happen to like my life exactly as it is too, have no intention of becoming involved in a permanent relationship. Ever!’ she added vehemently.
‘Meg—’
‘But that doesn’t mean,’ she continued forcefully, ‘that at twenty-seven I expect to remain celibate, either. What, Jed?’ she derided hardly as his expression became grim. ‘Don’t you like having the roles reversed on you? Too bad,’ she scorned. ‘Because that’s the way it is. The way it will always be as far as I’m concerned.’ She reached the communicating door in long strides. ‘Take it or leave it.’ She turned back to echo the words he had used to her this morning at the cottage.
This morning at the cottage. Uncomplicated. Simple.
It seemed a lifetime away.
Jed looked at her with narrowed eyes, his mouth a thin line. ‘I don’t believe you, Meg,’ he finally said slowly.
She gave an uninterested shrug. ‘Please yourself,’ she mocked. ‘I usually do.’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t believe that, either,’ he bit out. ‘You wouldn’t be here at all if that were really the case.’
True. Very true. She had come here for her father’s sake. Because he had been ill. Because she’d been sure he’d wanted to meet Scott.
But if she had known, if she had even guessed, that she would meet Jed Cole along the way, then she wouldn’t have come. Not even for her father.
Because Jed had guessed right about her. She didn’t get involved in casual affairs. Never had. Never would.
So what, exactly, was she doing in Jed Cole’s bedroom?
Getting out of it as fast as possible. Away from him. Away from the desire that never seemed far from the surface when she was near him.
‘You must believe what you please, Jed,’ she told him with dismissive scorn. ‘But, in future, don’t just walk into my bedroom uninvited.’
‘And if I’m invited?’ His jaw was squared, cheekbones hard beneath his skin, blue eyes glacial.
Meg gave a humourless smile. ‘Hopefully you will be able to leave some time tomorrow. I believe I can resist temptation until then.’ She went back into her bedroom, closing the door firmly, but necessarily quietly, behind her.
The tears of humiliation almost blinded her as she stumbled across the room to sit on the side of her bed, burying her face in her hands as she let those tears silently fall.
For over three years now she had kept herself deliberately aloof from any man that had shown an interest in her, not because she didn’t want to love and be loved, but because she had Scott, and any man who chose to come into her life would have to be prepared to take him on too, and not just as an adjunct to her, but for himself. She had seen and heard of too many incidents where this wasn’t the case, a child from a previous relationship hurt or rejected in any new relationship. She wouldn’t accept that for Scott.
But she had allowed Jed Cole to get under her guard these last two days, only to have him tell her that he didn’t want to get involved with her, let alone Scott, on a permanent basis. Honest, perhaps, but no less hurtful for that honesty, leaving her no choice but to defend herself.
She raised her head to look at her sleeping son, once again knowing that overwhelming rush of love for him. He was an innocent, a baby, worth all the pain of rejection she had known this last three and a half years, from her family, from so-called friends, from men like Jed Cole too, who wanted no complications in their life.
Well, you handled that really well, Jed, he told himself disgustedly as he looked at the door Meg had just closed in his face. Very suave.
Very sophisticated.
He didn’t think.
But it was true that he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off Meg, took every opportunity to kiss her, to hold her, whenever the two of them were alone.
And it scared the hell out of him. She scared the hell out of him.
There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted her, that the feel of her lips and body drove him wild, but he also wanted to protect her, keep her safe from harm. Even from himself, it seemed.
God, he hoped she was right about him being able to leave tomorrow—he needed to get away from Meg before she drove him insane.
But keeping his distance from Meg wasn’t easy to do when he was actually staying in her parents’ home, something brought starkly home to him when he found himself seated next to her at dinner.
He should have expected it, of course. There were only the six of them seated at the round table, Meg’s father seated on her other side, by David’s design, Jed felt sure, like two sentinels on guard.
Not that Meg looked as if she needed their protection this evening.
So far in their short acquaintance Jed had only ever seen Meg in thick sweaters and fitted denims, but somewhere in that small holdall that had comprised her own and Scott’s luggage she had managed to pack the ubiquitous little black dress. A little black dress that looked sensational on Meg.
Or was it that Meg made the dress look sensational?
Whatever, he had been rendered speechless when she’d strolled into the sitting-room a short time ago to join them all for a pre-dinner drink, eyes darkly lashed, a red lip-gloss making her lips look more inviting than ever.
As if Jed needed any more invitation than just looking at her.
But Meg in that dress was something else. It had a scooped neckline, revealing the swell of her creamy breasts, with short sleeves, stopping abruptly just above her knees to reveal shapely legs and slender ankles above high-heeled black shoes. The dress was made of some sort of stretchy material that emphasized high breasts, slim waist, and curvaceous thighs, her hair free and silky down her spine.
He might have come here completely unprepared for the dressing for dinner code, but Meg certainly hadn’t.
He had barely been able to take his eyes off her as she’d chatted to her father and Jeremy in the sitting room, and now he found himself sitting next to her at the dining table, the dress having ridden up her silky thighs when she sat down, a waft of some elusive perfume stirring his senses every time she moved.
He wanted to rip the dress off her and kiss every naked, perfumed inch of her.
Sad, Cole. Very sad. Like a callow youth with a crush on a teacher. Except he wanted to teach her everything he knew.
‘Salt, Jed?’ David Hamilton’s amused voice interrupted his obsessive thoughts.
Almost as if the other man knew what preoccupied his mind. Maybe he did, Jed accepted ruefully as he took the salt to add to his soup; there was a definite glint of laughter in those green eyes so like those of his bewitching daughter.
But this dinner was all so stilted. Jed frowned as he looked around. The conversation was polite, the table set formally with crystal glasses and silver flatware, the only concession to Christmas in this room the arrangement of poinsettias in the centre of the table, although the other females at the table looked as elegant as Meg, Lydia also in black, Sonia in emerald green, David and Jeremy also in formal shirt and tie.
It was a stark contrast to what would be happening at home on the farm in Montana this evening, everyone crowded into the kitchen, talking and laughing, kids yelling as his mother presided over cooking the turkey with all the trimmings. His brothers and his father would have changed into clean denims and maybe a plaid shirt, the females of the family probably having done the same.
He missed them, Jed realized heavily, missed the shouting, the laughter, the teasing, even the occasional arguments.
‘Is the venison not to your liking, Jed?’
He focused on Sonia with effort as she sat on his right, her glittering green dress a perfect match for her eyes, eyes that were openly flirting with him, he recognized.
Venison? He looked down at the plate that had been placed in front of him. When had that arrived? Had he eaten his soup? He certainly didn’t remember doing so.
You’re losing it, Cole, he berated himself impatiently. Totally losing it.
But venison, for goodness’ sake. Who the hell had venison for dinner on Christmas Eve? The Hamiltons, obviously.
He couldn’t help wondering what would be served for lunch tomorrow—peacock, maybe. Possibly not.
‘The venison is fine, thanks, Sonia,’ he replied as he realized she was still waiting for an answer.
Maybe he would go home for New Year. He had come to England to get away from the calls on his time in New York, and now, ironically, he needed to get away from England, too. Fast. If his rapidly escalating response to Meg was anything to go by.
‘Are you in England for long, Jed?’ Jeremy was the one to engage him in conversation now.
Almost as if some of his thoughts had shown on his face. ‘I’m not sure,’ he heard himself reply, and then wondered why he had been so ambiguous. The best thing for him to do was to leave England and go home, back to his roots, well away from the temptation of Meg.
‘How did you and Meg meet?’ Sonia took up the conversation, speculation in those green eyes now. ‘I thought all of Meg’s time was spent either working or looking after Scott,’ she added with a sideways glance at her sister.