‘We’re all proud of him,’ Meg’s father echoed smilingly as he, Sonia and Jeremy came out to join them in the hallway.
‘Oh, David,’ her mother choked tearfully.
‘My name is David too,’ Scott told them excitedly as he was gathered up into his grandfather’s arms. ‘Sometimes, if Mummy gets cross with me, she says, “Scott David Hamilton, that was naughty!”’
The adults’ laughter at this broke the tension, much to Scott’s confusion, and Meg’s embarrassment. He hadn’t realized he had said anything funny.
‘I know, Daddy,’ Sonia said laughingly. ‘Let’s all go and sing Christmas songs off-key around the piano, like we used to.’
Meg gave her twin a surprised look; Sonia had always hated those family singsongs at Christmas. Or, at least, she had always said that she did.
‘What a wonderful idea,’ their mother, another one who had always claimed she found the singing of Christmas carols tedious, agreed warmly. ‘We’ll start with “Jingle Bells”,’ she added firmly. ‘I’m sure you know “Jingle Bells”, don’t you, Scott?’ she queried as she led the way into the music room, Meg’s father, Sonia and Jeremy following behind.
‘What is going on?’ Meg asked Jed, slightly bemused by this turn of events. And initiated by Scott giving his grandmother a gift Meg had tried to discourage him from bringing here, sure that her mother would be horrified by the imperfection that had made it all the more precious to Meg herself.
The fact that her mother seemed to feel the same way about it still stunned her.
‘I have no idea,’ Jed drawled, his hand light on her elbow as he turned her in the direction of the music room. ‘But I should just enjoy it, if I were you.’
She did, the seven of them singing Christmas songs and carols for over an hour, her father playing the piano, the rest of them standing around it as they sang. To Meg’s surprise, Jed had a rich baritone, which he put to good use.
But the embarrassment she felt every time she looked at him was still acute; they had almost made love earlier this afternoon, and it was something she just couldn’t forget.
Although Jed claimed he didn’t want her to, that the two of them would talk later. Quite what that talk was going to entail—apart from the fact that any relationship between the two of them was going to be impractical and necessarily short-lived. As Jed had already pointed out, he lived wherever the fancy took him, and she was firmly rooted in London, by her work, and Scott. No, there could be no relationship between the two of them once they left here, and, as they both already knew, there could be no relationship between them here. Impasse.
But for the moment she had more surprises where her mother was concerned, Lydia insisting on coming down to the kitchen with them when it came time for Scott’s tea. Much to Bessie Sykes surprise, Meg felt sure; the only time Lydia usually entered the kitchen was to discuss menus with her. Now she sat at the scarred and much-used wooden table encouraging Scott to eat his boiled egg and soldiers.
When her mother also came up to watch Scott enjoy his bath Meg felt she could contain her curiosity no longer. ‘Mother, what—?’
‘Not now, Meg darling,’ her mother cut in softly. ‘We’ll get Scott to bed first, hmm, and then I think I would like to talk to all of you before dinner.’
That sounded rather ominous, but in the circumstances Meg had no choice but to acquiesce. Sitting on the side of her bed long after her mother had departed and Scott had fallen asleep, she wondered what her mother could possibly want to talk to all of them about.
But it was Christmas, after all, and perhaps a time for miracles.
‘Everyone else is waiting downstairs.’
Once again Jed had come through the communicating doorway to her bedroom uninvited, but after this afternoon it would be churlish to deny him entry.
‘What do you think is going on, Jed?’ She gave a pained frown.
He shrugged. ‘I think the thaw has probably set in in more ways than one.’
Her eyes widened before she got up and moved to the window. Jed was right—the snow was starting to melt as the temperature rose, green grass showing where the snow had already melted in patches.
Which meant Jed would be leaving soon.
But it was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Jed gone, a return to her flat in London, so that she could get on with her life as she had before?
No, of course it wasn’t what she wanted.
But what she wanted she knew she couldn’t have, and if she had nothing else she would keep her pride.
She forced herself to smile as she turned to look at him. ‘That’s good news, isn’t it?’ she said brightly. ‘You’ll be able to leave in the morning now.’
‘So will you,’ he rasped, his eyes dark and unfathomable, his expression unreadable too.
‘I’m not sure.’ She shrugged. ‘I may stay on another couple of days or so.’ She hadn’t really thought about what she was going to do after today, only intent on establishing that, just because Jed was leaving, it didn’t mean she had to do so too.
Although staying on wasn’t such a bad idea. Scott would love it, and her mother seemed different, since Scott had presented her with his handmade star, so perhaps she would give staying on some more thought.
It was going to be so awful when Jed got in the Range Rover and drove away.
So awful that for a moment Meg felt as if her knees were going to buckle beneath her.
He would return to the cottage, possibly even New York, and she would never see him again.
Her chest ached at the thought, her throat felt constricted, those tears that had seemed so close to the surface the last few days now blurring her vision.
‘It’s going to be okay, Meg,’ Jed assured confidently, obviously misunderstanding the reason for those tears. ‘I’m sure this talk with your mother is going to change everything.’
Perhaps that part of her life was finally going to make sense—she certainly hoped so. And until two days ago she would have been content—more than content—with that. But knowing Jed had changed all that. Now it felt, with his imminent departure, as if the bottom had dropped out of her world.
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.
And she had survived before; she would survive again.
She straightened determinedly. ‘Yes, of course it is.’ She nodded briskly, stepping away as Jed seemed far too close for comfort. For her control. If Jed should so much as touch her she might just break completely. And she was determined not to do that. ‘If you would like to go downstairs, I’ll join you all in a few minutes.’
He raised dark brows. ‘You aren’t going to change into that black dress again, are you?’ he asked.
Her eyes widened. ‘Why?’ She hadn’t intended to, had packed a red dress to wear this evening.
Jed shrugged. ‘You look edible in that dress.’ He grimaced wryly.
Meg felt her cheeks warm at the admission. ‘No,’ she assured him. ‘I’m not wearing the black dress this evening.’ The red dress, if anything, was even more figure-hugging than the black one.
‘That’s something, I suppose,’ he drawled. ‘Although I was wondering, as I’m not family—in fact, as we both know only too well, I’m actually a complete stranger—if it might not be better if I didn’t join you all until later?’
His reluctance made sense, of course it did. Her family might not be aware of it, but he was really nothing but an innocent bystander—a reluctant one at that—dragged into their midst out of the snow.
But she would miss him there at her side, knew she had come to rely on his silent support over the last few days. Not a good idea, when usually she could rely on no one but herself.
Although she had a feeling, if she wanted, that might be about to change.
And she couldn’t deny it would be wonderful to have the love of her family again.
Except that Jed was the man she loved.
She forced herself to give him a reassuring smile. ‘Of course.’ She nodded. ‘I’ll just explain to everyone that you’re working; they’re sure to understand.’ It might also have the benefit of being true; she was sure Jed had been working on his book again this afternoon. ‘Or perhaps you would like to go into the library and call your family?’ She remembered her suggestion of earlier. ‘I’m sure they would love to hear from you,’ she encouraged at his continued silence.
She had been talking because of that silence, didn’t understand why he had suddenly gone quiet; so far in their acquaintance she had never known Jed at a loss for words.
Perhaps it was that he would really rather leave now. The thaw was such that the main roads were sure to be clear enough to drive, and it was only ten miles or so to the cottage. Yes, maybe that was it. Jed just didn’t know, with everything else that was happening, how to tell her he was leaving.
‘You know, if you would like to go now, I’m sure that no one will mind,’ she told him brightly, her heart squeezing painfully inside her chest just at the thought of it.
‘Thanks, Meg,’ he rasped harshly. ‘That really makes me feel wanted.’
Wanted. She wanted him so badly she could barely breathe.
Although it seemed her remark had angered Jed. But then, nothing she seemed to say right now sounded in the least right to her, either.