His fingers tightened on her waist. Curse that word and his use of it. “I won’t.” She was so soft in his arms, so perfect. How could he ever grow tired of this?

She shook her head. “My sister, Emily, my cousin, Minnie. They’ve found love. All-consuming, passionate…” The word on her lips made him clench. “Emotional love. I’m going to have to witness their happiness for the rest of my life. And I’m thrilled for them. But how can I know my own joy, as I watched them, that my husband only thinks I’m suitable?”

He couldn’t say the words that would wash away all her worries. Part of him wanted to, despite the fact he wasn’t sure they were true. Could a man like him even deserve the love of a tender, sweet, marvelous woman like her? But he wished he could tell her that he loved her just so she’d dismiss McKenzie and save her dances for him. It was selfish, he knew that, but she was the first solid thing he’d held in so long.

“Let me show you how good it could be.” And then he pulled her even closer, his mouth covering hers. Slanting her lips open, his tongue swept into the dark depths of her lips, touching her tongue with his own. He heard her gasp and he gave a satisfied growl. Pulling away a bit, he murmured. “You taste like cinnamon.”

“I have it in my tea while I undress.”

He didn’t let her say more as he kissed her again. Sliding his hands under her cloak, he became aware that she didn’t have a dress or corset on and that only soft cotton and supple curves met his touch. “Corde,” he ground out as he explored her tiny waist and the flair of her hips. “You feel like heaven.”

“Do I? That is lovely to hear.”

She melted into him and he slid his hands around to cup her butt and pull her hips closer. She moaned, a tiny little sound of pleasure as her body pressed to his. His own manhood, already rock hard, throbbed at the feel of her softness pressed against him.

He knew what she wanted. And while he couldn’t bring himself to confess feelings, he could tell her how much he wanted her. “You’re my little nymph,” he said as he trailed little nibbles down her neck. “Dancing about me smelling of cinnamon and cloves, filling my senses with earthy desires…” He stopped as he reached the hollow of her neck. Here she no longer smelled of spices but of fresh grass on a rainy morning, the sort that filled a man with

hope. Hell, she smelled of dogwood flowers, his favorite place to hide as a child. “And you make me want things I haven’t wanted or thought I could have in so long.”

He pulled the string of her shift, wanting more of her skin. He should stop. But as her creamy flesh came into view, he thought he might never cease touching her.

* * *

Cordelia knew this was a terrible idea. Simply awful. But the words peppering her chest filled her with a breathless excitement she’d never experienced before. The kisses helped too, of course.

“I want things from you too,” she whispered into the night. By all accounts, McKenzie was the more handsome man but the passion, strength, and need in Chad had captured her very soul. “I want to be near you, to touch you.” Always. But she didn’t utter the word out loud. “I’ve never experienced such…longing.”

He slid his lips down until they were placing little pecks along the top of her breasts. “I know, love. I know.” He rested his forehead on her chest. “I owe you an explanation but every time I get you alone to tell you, I end up using my mouth to kiss you rather than explain.”

Cordelia wasn’t certain that was entirely wrong. “It’s all right.”

“I told you already that my mother died giving birth to me. My father, he loved her very much and he…he blamed me for taking her away. He liked to tell me often that I’d killed her, that he wished I’d never been born.”

Cordelia had hurt for others of course, but never like this. She could feel his pain in the racing of his heart. Wrapping her arms about his neck, she held his face tight to her chest. “Oh Chad, no little boy should ever have to hear such hateful words.”

He stilled against her. “The words were difficult but they weren’t the worst of it.”

Cordelia didn’t need him to explain. Her breath caught. “He hurt you.”

Chad pressed his face into her, his eyes squeezing shut. “I’d hide in this tree so that he couldn’t find me. It was only an issue when he drank and—” The words clogged in his throat.

She pressed her cheek to the top of his head. “You don’t have to say anymore. I understand.” She did, at least partly. Was he explaining why he couldn’t express his feelings or why he didn’t feel them? She wasn’t certain.

And Cordelia knew this meant they were at an impasse. She wanted a man to love her and he was trying to explain why he couldn’t. She ached for him. Odd considering he’d just shared that he couldn’t give her what she needed.

“Please. Give me more time before you make your decision. I’m trying to be more of what you want and I need to know that you won’t agree to marry him right away.”

She smiled against the top of his head. Time was something she could give him and it made her happy to do so. “By all accounts, Diana should marry before I do. Who knows how long it will take her to decide? Her options will likely be unlimited.”

He raised his head, then brushed a finger across her cheek. “You think you’re less than your sisters and cousins? You’re not. Don’t you see that your beauty is not only on the surface but on the inside too, shining brightly and creating a glow about you that—” He stopped.

She held still as she looked up at him. “That was beautiful.” She’d been writing when he’d arrived, beginning her first ever love story. She couldn’t imagine more perfect words falling from any hero’s lips.

He gave her a one-sided grin. “I am rather impressed with myself. But then again, I have the distinct feeling that you sprinkled me with magical fairy dust that has entranced me.”

Quite suddenly, she couldn’t help herself. Tugging on his neck, she brought his mouth down to hers again. There was a desperation to this kiss, as though she were trying to say all the feelings she had with this touch. The ones she couldn’t express out loud without risk of scaring him away.

He’d been wounded deeply and completely as a child. While she hoped for more from him in the future, for now she could be content with this. Even if he broke her heart, time with him was an experience she’d not miss for all the world. The pain, that was tomorrow’s problem.

Tags: Tammy Andresen Lords of Scandal Historical
Source: readsnovelonline.net