She gave him a curious look in return as she tactfully pulled her elbow from his grasp. The little one she held stuck out her tongue again. “Tell me. What question should I have asked, then?”
“Is she yours?” He swallowed, looking at the adorable little girl nestled in Clarissa’s arms
. He hadn’t even considered that she might have married, started a family, until he’d seen her with the child in her lap. The thought shouldn’t hurt. If she had married, then she was safe and protected. But the possibility of a married Clarissa didn’t stop his chest from tightening.
“What?” Clarissa moved further away from him.
“Clarissa,” the little one asked as her fingers tightened on Clarissa’s arm. “What does he mean?”
“Hush, Natty,” Clarissa said.
The tension knotting his insides loosened. Natty had called her Clarissa. Not mama. How old was his little angel now? She’d been twelve. That would make her eighteen or nineteen now, he’d wager.
She was tall for a woman, thin but shapely. She looked lovely holding a child. He curled his fingers into a tight fist to keep from reaching out and touching her again.
They made their way out into the cold morning, snow swirling down from the sky. Clarissa left his side and headed toward Penny, the two women embracing, even as Clarissa continued to hold Natty in her arms.
“The children are the orphans,” Bash said just behind him. “She and that Penny woman took them in.”
“Of course.” How could he not have realized that? He wasn’t thinking. Seeing her again had muddled his thoughts and dulled his senses. Nor should he be feeling relief at the knowledge that she was still in need of a protector.
He wanted to know her. Hell. He wished to hold her.
He’d also frightened her with his intensity. He took a steadying breath. He was a negotiator, a charmer. That was his skill. But he’d spent the entire ceremony staring at her like a raving beast.
Hell, he was scaring himself. He ran a shaky hand through his hair as he looked at her again. He itched to skim his hand down her golden hair. What would it look like undone?
“The kid is right.” Bash chuckled. “You look like a wolf ready to eat her alive. You need to relax. Where is my light-handed brother? The best negotiator in all of England?”
“I can’t help it,” he answered without thinking. Then realized what he had revealed. He repeated to himself that this was not a case of attraction. Or, at least, it hadn’t been. And it shouldn’t be now. She was an angel. A person in need of protecting, he should not subject her to his sudden and base feelings of desire. “I’ve been looking for her for the past six years.”
“Is that why you keep travelling back to Dover?” Bash asked, shaking his head.
Mason didn’t bother to answer. Clarissa gave him another sideways glance. The flash of her blue eyes held him captive again.
“So you’ve really searched for her all these years?”
“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth.
“How did she save your life again?” Bash asked.
He let out a sigh. “It’s difficult to explain.”
“Try.”
He gave his brother his best glare. “She gave me water, food, even while I was ravaged with fever. Mopped my brow and she…” He paused, swallowing. “She talked to me. Often. When I thought I was completely alone in this world, her voice…”
“Bloody Christ,” Bash murmured.
But Mason didn’t pay him any mind. Clarissa’s gaze met his again. It was time they had an actual conversation. They’d barely exchanged a few clipped words and he’d searched for too long, worried far too much to allow her to slip through his hands now.
Finding her alone proved harder than Mason anticipated. The crowd kept them apart and she kept moving in whatever direction he wasn’t.
He grunted in frustration as the carriages began to pull up. Clarissa moved to one and began to load the children inside. After she’d put three little girls in the carriage, she climbed in too.
He only had a split second to decide. But as the door began to close, he sidestepped Bash and grabbed the handle, pulling the door wide and entering into the carriage.
It was a good thing he didn’t stop to think. Because if he had, he knew what his mind would say. That he was a bloody idiot.