?” he riposted. “I can’t imagine your not finding someone else.”
“There were two men I cared about in Canada, but I could never be sure how Dimitra would be able to accept one into our lives.”
“Then you did entertain the idea.”
“Yes, but I could never commit. Dimitra has always been my priority. Close as I came to marriage in the past, I was afraid to go through with it in case it didn’t work out and she was unhappy. I’d rather have seen her future settled first, whenever that time came.
“Then she met Kristos. I know her love for him is real, but they’re still so young. I’d rather they waited another year at least. As you and I have learned, you never know how long love will last, no matter the reason for it getting cut off by unforeseen circumstances.”
Nico had been the victim of unforeseen circumstances twice in his life. “It’s Irena’s fear too.” He looked out over the water, still incredulous over what he’d learned.
“Do you mind if I ask how you met your wife? Unless it’s too painful.”
“Not at all.” He turned so he could look at her. “I learned to fly in the military, but that was after I stopped sending you letters. When I returned home I bought a small plane. I soon started flying everywhere when I had to go to meetings outside of Salonica. One evening I flew to Athens and met Raisa at a party for a friend.
“We started talking and one thing led to another. It felt good to connect with someone again and we began seeing each other on a regular basis. I thought it would put her off when I told her about you and me. She knew I was still looking for you, but she was patient and never gave up. The day came when I realized my search was futile. That’s when I asked her to marry me.
“One morning I took her on a flight with me and a coworker. She’d just found out we were expecting. It was a beautiful clear day with a nice tailwind. But then, suddenly, our flight from Chios where we’d celebrated our exciting news took on a different dimension.
“I had to struggle to keep us straight and level. In a flash, up became down. It was wind shear. Our seat belts barely restrained us. We crashed. I and my coworker survived, but Raisa didn’t make it. I haven’t taken control of a plane since.”
Alexa moved closer. “You lost your wife and unborn child. Oh, Nico. I’m so heartsick for you, I don’t know what to say.” The compassion in her voice sounded like the old Mara, calling up memories.
“That was eleven years ago. Since then I’ve immersed myself in work. To learn I have a daughter is a miracle I never expected. I don’t know if she’ll want a relationship with me, but I plan to find out.”
“More than anything in this world I want the two of you to have one.”
His breath caught. Why? To placate your guilt? Nico had listened to her reasons for keeping silent. On an intellectual level, he understood. But it didn’t erase the pain. He couldn’t talk about this any longer. “I’ll take you back home before your grandfather starts to worry.”
They went back to the pier and he drove her home in silence. En route she turned to him. “Nico? I promise you that our daughter has wanted her father all her life. I gave her a small photo of you when she was around five which she has treasured. It was your profile. When we got home from Irena’s, she said you reminded her of the picture I gave her. She also said you were awesome. Now that she knows you are her father, her world has been transformed.”
“You can’t know that when she’s only just learned the truth,” he bit out.
“But I do. Not only does she adore Kristos who adores you, Dimitra read your letters after I left for the monastery. She’s already your champion. When I returned, she said, ‘He really loved you, Mama. I don’t know how Monika could have done that to you, but it’s your lie I can’t forgive. You could have gotten in touch with his family as soon as you found out you were pregnant. They would have contacted him and he would have uncovered the mystery because he’s that kind of wonderful man.’”
Though Alexa’s words about Dimitra worked like a balm on Nico’s tormented soul, they didn’t take away the remembered pain of those dreadful first years. Being with Mara, talking with her like this, had opened a deep wound.
Every explanation she’d given him for her silence had expressed fear of hurting him or bringing shame to him and their families. The sweetness he’d found in her from the start was still an inherent part of her nature. He could never blame her for wanting to avoid causing his family pain.
After hearing her explanations, he could see how difficult everything had been for her. But he couldn’t help thinking that one phone call nineteen years ago, after she discovered she was pregnant, would have made their lives so different.
When they reached the house, she got out. “I’ll run inside. In case Dimitra is there, shall I send her out?”
“I don’t want to force something on her she’s not ready for. I’d prefer to phone her and we’ll go from there.”
“All right.”
“Alexa?” He couldn’t believe he had to call her that now.
“Yes?”
He paused for a moment, but he was too full of emotions to say anything more right now. “Nothing. It’ll keep.”
She whispered good-night and hurried into the house.
With a groan, he phoned Irena.
“Nico?”