And I was the reason he had a scar on his chest.
I was the reason he lost his men.
I was the reason Ariel had almost been taken.
After the way things turned out, I knew I didn’t deserve him. I had nothing to offer besides my love. Apparently, Crewe thought that was enough. But after a few years, the resentment would begin to sink in.
Letting him go was my only option.
I hated the idea of returning to America and starting over—for the second time. I hated picturing my wedding to a faceless man in a suit. I hated imagining my children, who looked nothing like Crewe.
But I had to do it.
I procrastinated for several days, much to Ariel’s displeasure. Every time I thought I could do it, I chickened out. I kept wanting to soak in every second that I had left with him. Our relationship had returned to the way it used to be—full of trust and affection. I would miss that when I slept alone.
By the third day, I still hadn’t done it. I slept well with his muscular arms wrapped around me. I melted every morning when he kissed me goodbye. When we made love during his lunch hour, I was a woman in love. There were so many reasons to stay that sometimes I forgot why I was leaving in the first place.
When Ariel had enough, she confronted me while Crewe was in his office. “London.” That’s all she said to me when she walked into my bedroom. In black heels and a black dress, she looked stuffy and sophisticated. Her appearance almost never changed.
“I know.” I didn’t need to hear her pressure me again.
“You obviously don’t know because you’re still sharing this bedroom with him.” She wasn’t nearly as calm as she was before. Now her attitude had fired up like a revved engine. “You’re playing a dangerous game with time right now.”
Subconsciously, I hoped I could wait long enough to see him get down on one knee. I wanted to experience that moment even if it ended badly, as selfish as that was. “Get off my case, alright? You’re asking me to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
“And if you can’t do it, I’m leaving now.”
“Seriously, how does Cassandra put up with you?”
Her eyes narrowed the second her girlfriend was mentioned. “That’s a road you definitely don’t want to take.”
“How would you feel if you couldn’t marry the one person you loved?” I asked incredulously. “If Crewe didn’t accept your sexuality and made you choose? I distinctly remember him wanting you to be yourself. I distinctly remember him not giving a damn what anyone thought of you and supporting you. This is how you repay him?”
She placed both hands on her hips. “Cassandra didn’t shoot me—”
“I didn’t shoot Crewe.”
“But you pretty much pulled the trigger. You lied and deceived him. Just because the two of you worked things out doesn’t erase the past.”
“Maybe you should get over the past. Seems like everyone else has.”
“The men haven’t killed you because Crewe ordered them not. Only reason why you’re safe. But they’ll hate you for as long as they live.”
“You all sound pretty petty to me. I’m a good person with good intentions. You need to forgive me and let it go.”
“Forgive you?” she asked. “I don’t forgive anyone who fucks with Crewe like that.”
We’d already had this argument before, and I didn’t want to have it again. She was too cold even to understand what forgiveness was. I would always be condemned here. Even if I became his wife, I would never be welcome here. I couldn’t allow my children to witness them disrespect me. Maybe Crewe and I wouldn’t have worked out anyway. “I’ll leave, alright?”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Actually tomorrow?” she asked. “Or are you just saying that?”
“Tomorrow. I’ll call my brother and arrange for him to pick me up. Is that better?”
She dropped her arms to her sides. “It’ll never be better until you’re truly gone. When he gets off work tomorrow, I want you to say your goodbyes and leave. Alright?”
She punched me in the face when I tried to get Crewe to the hospital. I would love to return the favor, but I couldn’t sink to her level. She may look elegant in her clothes and glasses, but I was still the better woman—if you asked me. “Alright.”
I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the night.
It was my last evening with Crewe in the beautiful castle. We’d made so many memories here, infecting the halls with our laughter and kisses. I was the only woman who had slept on these sheets, and I wondered how long it would be before he replaced me with someone else, probably Anna.
Crewe got undressed before he came to bed. In the nude, he slid under the sheets until we were close together. Immediately, his heat filled the sheets like a personalized heater. He kissed my shoulder and my hairline before he rested against me, his powerful body rising with every breath he took.