“Good.”
George would send a couple of my guys out on the streets to drop hints that I left town now that Brick took over my territory. They would mention my possible location without giving an exact address. Too much detail would scream, “trap” and while El Cuchillo was a man who ran on impulse, but not stupid. If I made it too easy, he would know I was waiting for him. It would take longer this way, with Cuchillo having to ferret out my safe house, but it was more of a sure thing than making the man suspicious. He would send scouts to the town and I would make sure to show up in public a few times so the locals got a good look at me. Then it was up to Cuchillo and his men to find me.
Now… all we could do was wait.
12
Miri
“I can’t do this, Cat. I can’t.” I paced in front of the wall of windows in the fancy penthouse suite in the ultra-modern high-rise W Austin Residence building. Nerves churned and twisted in my stomach causing a low-grade nausea that never seemed to leave. Which, if I were to think about it, was likely due to another reason. A path I refused to allow my mind to go down.
“You have to stay calm, Miri. It isn’t good for the—”
I shot my best friend a dark look, then flicked my eyes over to one of the many men sent to guard us along with George, who was staying in one of the suite’s many bedrooms.
“Sorry,” Cat said. She knew I didn’t want to talk about… that, in front of anyone else.
“I should have told Jag before he left.” I shivered and crossed my arms over my stomach. “Maybe he wouldn’t have left.”
Cat stood and joined me by the windows. “You weren’t ready, Miri. When he came home from the hospital he was at the house for three weeks and you never found the courage to bring it up. It had to be when you felt it was right.”
I held back a sob and stared out at the rolling hills of Austin. “You’re right. I could have told him. I was too scared. Now, he might not…” I sniffed and blinked back the burning tears. “He might not ever know.”
Cat grabbed my wrist and hauled me into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it.
“Miri, you have got to stop this. It’s not good for the baby and terrible for your own health. You look awful.” Cat pushed me gently onto the bed and sat next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” I hunched over, wishing I could disappear. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She grabbed the phone off the nightstand. “Hi, I’d like three orders of fruit, two bowls of steel-cut oats, ten breakfast tacos, six market omelets, four orders of pancakes and four orders of waffles to the penthouse, please.” There was a pause. “Yes, three carafes of coffee and two of orange juice. Thanks.” Cat hung up and gave me a smug smile.
“That’s a lot of food, Cat.” I wrinkled my nose when my stomach heaved.
She rolled her eyes. “There are five grown men hanging around here, plus us. You think they’re not hungry?”
“Well, I—”
“Besides, this way you get to pick what you think you can keep down and the guys and I will eat whatever you don’t want. But you will eat,” she said before I could protest.
I ran a hand along my flat midsection. “I’m having a hard time believing I’m pregnant, that a baby would even make it after everything I’ve been through. The nurse said it’s part of the routine blood work for all young women. When I was at the hospital having my head checked, the doctor told me, but I just couldn’t accept… I mean, in a way, I was happy, especially because I’m far enough along that I know it’s Jag’s, probably from one of the first times we…” I stopped, deciding I didn’t need to get into details. “But when Jag was shot and everything was a mess, I didn’t want to ruin his recovery by telling him he was about to be saddled with a kid he hadn’t asked for.” My vision blurred.
“Miri, are you stupid? That man loves you so much it’s sickening. He’s not going to dump you because you’re pregnant.” Cat snorted. “Hell, he’ll probably put you on a bed in a room lined with pillows and lock the door so you won’t get hurt.”
I wanted to smile, but couldn’t manage to get past my intense fear. Fear that Jag would hate me. Fear of rejection. Fear he’d never know he was going to be a father because he’d be dead before I could tell him. My hands shook harder.
“I should have told him.” My voice hitched and I began to hyperventilate. Cat rubbed my back and pushed my head between my knees.
“Breathe, Miri. Everything is going to be okay.”
She meant well, but I knew her words were empty. Cat couldn’t make any promises, though it was good to have her with me as I fell apart. If I didn’t have Cat, I’d be completely alone. No way would I turn to George or one of the Men in Black for any sort of comfort.
By the time the food arrived, I had stopped freaking out just enough to join everyone at the dining room table and not garner any strange looks. I ate my fruit and oatmeal in silence, letting the others fill the empty space with conversation. The men never spoke business in front of either Cat or me, so the discussion was ridiculously trivial—sports, weather, more sports. I wanted to grab one of them by their broad shoulders and shake him until he told me what was going on. Whether or not Jag was safe, where he was, how he was doing… I couldn’t sit here in this gilded tower and do nothing while the father of my child was off risking his life. At that thought, the nausea returned and I shoved back from the table, making it to the bathroom just in time to lose my entire breakfast as I heaved over the toilet.
Thankfully, Cat left me alone in my misery. The last thing I wanted was someone hovering. I rinsed my mouth and slid to the floor, resting my cheek on the cool tiles. Four days apart and I was already a total emotional train wreck. There was no way I could stay here and keep my sanity. I had to get out and find Jag, do something. Tell him about the baby. Maybe if he knew he was going to be a father, he would stop taking this unnecessary risk trying to lure out El Cuchillo. Maybe he would come back.
I wasn’t sure how long I lay on the floor, but by the time I pushed to my feet, my mind was made up.
* * *
“What are you—?”
“Shhhhh.” I grabbed Cat by the arm, maneuvered her down the hall into our room, and closed the door. “They’ll hear you.”