“She guessed based on the Bella wallpaper all over my apartment.”
Bella slapped my arm. “Funny, but I’m serious.”
I laughed. “Yes, she knows that you’re the one true queen of my life.”
Bella nodded, satisfied. “Good.”
We entered the small, off-the-beaten-path deli we used to go to all the time as kids, ordered cups of coffee and sandwiches, and found our favorite table near the window. Bella reached across the table and took my hands into hers.
“Sweetie, I’m so sorry I missed Pop Pop’s funeral. My asshole boss said that unless it’s my grandfather, it’s no excuse to call out of work.” Her voice was low and cartoonish as she imitated her boss.
I shook my head. “It’s okay. Honestly, I wouldn’t have subjected anyone to that. Everyone in Philly was there.”
Bella raised an eyebrow. “Including Alessandro? My chest contracted at his name, and I could feel my face warming. Bella giggled. “Oh, I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I totally started to have a meltdown, and he came over and fixed everything. He was so much sweeter and caring than I remember, and then at the end of the night, he asked me out.”
“Tell me you said yes,” Bella groaned when I bit my bottom lip. “Why not? You’re obviously still in love with him. He’d probably move to be with you. You’re adults now, and distance shouldn’t be such an issue.”
I’d purposely kept Bella out of my family’s dealings with the Varassos. When I broke up with Alessandro, I told her that we broke up because I was leaving for school, and the distance was going to make it too hard to date. At the time, it helped that I was still very much in love with Alessandro because it made it more believable that we had a reluctant breakup, but now, it was perfectly normal for Bella to suggest I should see Alessandro again. Any normal best friend would.
“I don’t see myself leaving Cali, and I don’t see him leaving Philly, so what’s the point?” I picked and pulled at a napkin on the table.
Bella stared at me through suspicious eyes and raised eyebrows. “Okay, out with it.”
I looked up at her. “Out with what?”
“I always knew you were keeping something from me about him, and now you’re lying straight to my face.”
I shook my head. “I’m not.”
“You are. You didn’t have any plans to move to California, and then all of a sudden, you decided to apply for school there and left without so much as an explanation. You graduated from college, like, two years ago, and your job can be done from anywhere in the world. If you love Alessandro and you could stay here and be with him, why wouldn’t you?”
I could see in Bella’s face that I couldn’t hide the truth anymore. Apparently, it’d been stupid to think I could, to begin with. “All right, we’re adults now, so I can say what I couldn’t say to you as a kid.”
“Okay?”
I looked over one shoulder, then the other, and then leaned across the table toward her. “Alessandro isn’t any guy. He’s one of four brothers who run a major crime syndicate deeply seeded in all of Pennsylvania. There isn’t one thing they do that’s legal. They’re the reason my dad got arrested.”
Bella’s eyes widened. “I thought he was falsely accused?”
I thought back to the day my father was arrested. He was sitting and waiting for the cops to arrive at a blood-soaked scene where a man had been brutally murdered. The police assumed it wasn’t my father, that he was covering for the Varassos, who were known to have a rivalry with the victim, but when they questioned my father, he was tight-lipped. Not only did he not give up any names about who had actually murdered the man in question, but he pled guilty to the crime. He told my mom and the police that he’d done it all by himself, even despite the mountain of evidence that suggested otherwise. By taking responsibility for the crime, not only did he keep the Varassos out of trouble, but he ensured no one else could be charged with that murder. I knew my dad didn’t kill that man; he wasn’t a murderer. He took the fall for the Varassos to protect them, even at the sacrifice of his own family. Someone died that day, but it wasn’t the man the Varassos murdered; it was my father. My dad left my house that morning, but the man who went to prison for them was no more than a willing sacrifice for the Varassos’ greed and violence.
“He was,” I said finally, “he was willing to be. To protect them.”
“So, that’s why you never went to visit him?” Bella’s face hardened. “I’m so sorry.”
“That’s why things with Alessandro and I can never work out. He’s a reminder of what his family did to mine. When I left for school, I asked him to come with me, and he told me he could never leave his family. So that was it for us. If he was willing to be loyal to the people who’d taken my father from me, then he obviously didn’t really love me.” Tears started streaming down my face without warning. “I want to see you and spend a little more time with Ricky, and then get back to where this stuff doesn’t exist. There’s nothing for me here.”
Bella placed her hand on top of mine. “I understand.”
The rest of our meal was a bit more somber than I had intended it to be. Bella tried to keep the conversation light by talking about her family, the silly dates she’d been on in the time since I’d seen her last, and just about anything she could think of to try and keep a smile on my face. I wasn’t unappreciative of her efforts, but speaking so candidly about how the Varassos had ruined my life had killed my spirit. We parted ways with a promise to talk more frequently, and then I made my way back to my mother’s house. I still had no interest in spending any time with her, but it was where Ricky lived as well, so I was willing to endure it to spend a few more hours with him before heading back to California.
My rideshare pulled up in front of the huge, white bri
ck and terracotta-roofed manor, and my jaw dropped.
The driver looked out the window and let out a hollow whistle. “Wow, is this your place? Looks like you have a secret admirer.”