The moment Derek drives away from the Meet Up, my breathing turns faster and harsher, as if I’ve been running.
As if I’m climbing a mountain and have no way to get down. Then I’m falling and there’s no landing in sight. It’s a fatal fall, the type that crushes your skull and destroys your body.
I stare out the window and focus on the empty road to not think about what I’ve just learnt.
The distraction doesn’t help. The inhaling and exhaling don’t help either.
There’s a weight on my chest that won’t go the hell away. It’s suffocating me the more I gulp air into my lungs.
All I want to do is scream until my voice turns hoarse and I can’t scream anymore.
I retrieve my phone and pretend I’m scrolling through my vain chat room with Veronica and Summer. It’s all about gossip and the latest makeup and fashion trends. The stupidity itself should somehow cool my head.
It doesn’t.
The only image going on in my mind on a freaking loop is Cole having sex with our head nurse. He was having sex with her.
As in they were naked and he kissed her.
Tears fight to spill free, but I turn away from Aiden and widen my eyes so they stay there. I won’t cry. I’m not going to cry because of that arsehole.
So what if he has sex? I don’t care. Why should I care?
Cole can go to hell for all I care.
I hate him. The one good thing about him is that he’s Helen’s son. That’s it.
That’s all.
Since that day he kissed me, I knew Cole wasn’t for me. I just knew it. The moment he compared me to others, blatantly declaring I was only one of his conquests, I decided I would be the conquest he’d never win.
He might make me lose at studies and piano and sports, but he’ll never make me lose at this game.
And I meant what I said. I’ll make him regret it.
My firsts?
Screw him. He lost the right to those the moment he didn’t save his firsts for me.
Cole might act like I’m a fly in his vicinity, but he gets unnecessarily aggressive when he knows Aiden and I have spent time together behind his back. We only do it because Papa and Uncle Jonathan are close friends and we’re often invited as a set.
And by unnecessarily aggressive, I mean he’ll accept Aiden’s challenges, even when he usually doesn’t. He makes sure to win every time too.
Cole doesn’t just win. He crushes. Then he walks all over you as if you never existed.
I lay the phone on my lap. “Out with it.”
Aiden throws me a glance. He has a permanent ‘piss off’ look etched on his features. And while he’s relatively handsome with his styled black hair and sharp features, I don’t know why the girls find him attractive and nearly blend in with the walls whenever he passes them by.
He’s annoying and entitled and has sociopathic tendencies. If they tried looking behind his exterior for a second, maybe they’d figure that out, but girls like Summer and Veronica say stuff like, ‘but he’s so hot’ as if that will save them when he ends up choking the life out of them.
“Out with what?” he asks.
“Derek and I know you don’t enjoy our company, so why did you want to catch a ride?”
“For your beautiful eyes, Queens.”
“Eww. Don’t ever try that again with me. I literally want to throw up.”