It’s even harder to have no one to talk to about it.
I can’t forgive Lucy, even though she came begging, telling me she suspected there was something going on but didn’t know what it was.
She also stood up to Brianna in public and got called names and was shunned out of the inner circle. Not that it makes up for what she did, but I’m glad she left that toxic bunch.
It’s been getting crazier in that circle.
That same week, after Friday’s game, Reina was assaulted in the forest and lost her memory. So now, she’s this completely different person who smiles and laughs and cares about people.
Even me.
The other day, she apologized to me after she learned that she bet Sebastian to fuck me, and I choked on my spit. After I told her to fuck off, that is.
The guy himself has been relentless.
There hasn’t been a day where he didn’t corner me, approach me, or talk to me.
Sometimes, it’s a joke about how his dick misses me. Other times, it’s intense, where his chest flattens against mine and his face is mere inches from my mouth.
He absolutely has no fucks to give about my decision or the fact that I told him we’re over. In fact, he still thinks we’re together and that sooner or later, I’ll cave in to the connection we have.
I’ve held on to my anger as much as I could. Add in my constant grief about my mom and I’ve been in no state of mind to even think about him.
But I do.
God, how much I do.
I think it’s because of the loneliness. The lack of friends and the need to burst bubbling inside me.
Besides, I’m well and truly an addict now. No matter how much porn I watch, there’s nothing that resembles the intensity of what I felt from Sebastian’s hands.
There’s nothing out there that matches the raw chase and the raw hunger I experienced with him.
Sometimes, I lie in my bed and think about his huge cock, rough hands, and wicked tongue.
Sometimes, I let my fingers slip beneath my panties in a hopeless attempt to recreate the sensations.
It doesn’t work. Not really.
How long will it take before I get over it? Because I’ve been on the brink lately, snapping at anyone who moves.
Coming to campus has become a nightmare. Surprisingly, no one bullies me or throws jabs in my direction, but looks don’t lie. They regard me like I’m a pest.
Besides, Brianna has been making it her mission to turn me into an outcast—even more than before.
Now that Reina has lost her memories and is no longer her bitchy, authoritative self, Brianna has been spreading her venom all over the squad. She’s been actively trying to make my and some of the other girls’ lives hell.
I’ve been at the point of rage-quitting for a long time, but I haven’t. I won’t upset Mom when she doesn’t have much time left.
Sighing, I head to the parking lot while checking my messages. I don’t know why I wish to find one from the PI, Kai.
I know I won’t. After Mom begged me to stop searching for my father, I did.
It took all I had to call Kai and tell him to abort the mission. He asked me why and I told him it’s because having Mom was enough.
And it is.
Holding on to the anger more than I should have has kept me from realizing that fact.