“Why do you like hurting me?”
“Because when I do, you fight, and subduing you alleviates my need for violence.”
“Even when I tell you no and beg you to stop?”
“Especially then.” His voice doesn’t change, but it’s like his words are stroking a dark corner of my chest.
Maybe talking about it wasn’t the best idea after all. At the moment, I don’t have the stamina to bare myself or to entertain the buried memories that are attempting to puncture the surface.
“What about you?” he asks.
“What about me?”
“You like it when I’m rough. You come harder and your pussy feels scared and in need of more.”
My cheeks burn. “Stop it.”
“You wanted to talk. We’re talking.”
“I take it back.” I turn to my car. “I’m tired.”
He grabs me by the wrist. “Not so fast, Tsundere. You don’t get to run away.”
“From what?”
“From facing the reason you’re like this.”
“Who told you there’s a reason?”
“I wasn’t sure before, but the way your pulse quickened beneath my fingers just now proves I’m right.”
I pull my hand free. The manipulative jerk. “I…don’t want to talk about it.”
“Yet.”
“Ever.”
“You will eventually tell me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because, in return, I’ll tell you my reasons.” He leans in and wraps a hand around my throat, slowly stroking the pulse point. “Until you’re ready to go down that road, you’re mine to destroy.”
22
Akira
Dear Yuki-Onna.
What you’re doing is completely fine. There’s a thing called rape fantasy and it’s completely healthy.
I searched it and the psychology reports say it’s the woman’s way to gain control and surrender. It’s also related to masochism, wide imagination, and a broad range of BDSM.
It can also be something someone with sexual trauma is interested in because it gives them control over a situation similar to one from their past where they couldn’t.
So it’s completely healthy. You should do what makes you happy.
Is that what you hoped I’d write back? Is that what you had in mind when you sat down and wrote me your version of a twisted sob story?