wlv: How long is it? Do condoms fit?
jrb: 12 inches
wlv: Get outta here! That’s a lotta meat!!!
jrb: stop it! lol
wlv: I can’t help it! That thang is PURTY! LOL
jrb: well, u know u can have it anytime
My entire body coursed with sexual stimulation. Pedicured toes tapped the floor, twitching rapidly. Then legs tensed. Looking down, I realized those out-of-sync body parts belonged to me. I panicked, floated, then came back down to earth. Thankfully we were on the computer and he couldn’t see how shook he had me. Pacing was the only thing I could do to regain my composure. Long strides took me around the room in circles. Racewalking was never one of my favorite sports, but I kept striding as if someone were on my tail. Noticing my lit-up message box caused me to huff a bit more. Deep breaths did nothing to send my jitters away. I took slow, guarded steps back to the computer.
jrb: u there?
wlv: Yeah. I had to get something to drink.
jrb: so r u gonna answer me?
wlv: Answer what?
jrb: I said u can have it anytime. u want it?
wlv: BRB
All of that could belong to me? My chat buddy was born with a gift of a god. Control slid from my body. Sensations raced through my veins. I was near fainting and ran to splash water on my face. Appropriate behavior would have no place in my life if Beauty tantalized me. Once I passed the thoughts of temptations and indulged in the actual act, he could never be with another.
wlv: Hey, I gotta run. Will you be on later?
jrb: for u sure
Would this work? I was undeniably interested. He had me in the palm of his soul. A quick, simple flash of a photo made my every essence become soft, claylike putty. My heart was his. It was too early to let on that I had come apart upon the sight of such exquisite splendor. Somehow, some way, I had to make him want me. Beauty had to come inside and not leave. He needed to know that I was the key to his new home.
For the next two days I purposely didn’t log on to Instant Messenger. I did, however, wake up in the wee hours of the morning to check to see if he’d sent me any off-line messages. My insides shuffled and then sank when I saw that they didn’t miss me like I feened for them.
In all of my misleading previous relationships I had fallen prey to what I thought was an ever-conquering love. Sex had always been a demon in disguise to me. Sex used my body to deceive my mind into believing I was in love. When my body wasn’t satisfied, the demon backed away. At this moment my head was clouded with confusion in relation to Beauty. I fulfilled my sexual fantasies simply by looking at him. The intense stimulation of twelve hard inches of man delving deep into my canal had never before been done. My body would be loose and uninhibited to all of the things he requested of me.
Every night I envision him in my sleep. He walks toward me in a lavish manner, with Beauty leading the way. Beauty carries himself like a stallion. He is a pedigree that comes in second place to none. The ribbons I want t
o wrap around his winning form are gold and red and midnight blue. Best in show will be his only moniker. Oscars, Golden Globes, or SAG Awards aren’t allowed in his presence. Those statues are awarded for pretending to be something you imagine. His performances are real and satisfying. A script is never printed for him to follow. He takes the lead and directs you in the role of your lifetime. And this happens only in my dreams.
My “playing hard to get” game ended before I even had a grasp on the rules. It was 3:47 in the morning and I waved the white flag. I had woken myself up, yet again, with a drenched dream about Beauty. They had come to my place and used lace scarves to secure my arms and legs to my bedposts. He stood over me as Beauty steered him to a warm, wet place that he could rest in after he drained all that held it confined. My own screams of pleasure awoke me in a lusty sweat, and I ran to the computer to find my savior.
I began typing a heated email, which gave them directions to my home and my telephone number. Before clicking the send button I logged on to see if he’d left me a message. They were online.
wlv: Hey U…
jrb: sup sexy
wlv: What have you been up to?
jrb: I’ve been thinking about u. I feel bad for turning u off like that.
wlv: What are you talking about?
jrb: u know, showin u my stuff like that.
wlv: Are you serious?