I was so ashamed, but it had to come out. “The reason I think I’m insane is because I wake up sometimes and I’m wearing clothes I’ve never seen; my hair is curled instead of up; my glasses are tossed someplace; a couple of times they were even broken. And then there’s the other stuff.”
“What other stuff?”
I clamped my eyes shut. I’d never felt so degraded. “Dr. Spencer, sometimes there are strange smells on my body, on my breath, all over me. Sometimes there’s sticky stuff between my legs and—”
Dr. Spencer sat down on the corner of her desk, facing me, and lifted my chin with her hand so I’d look at her. “Jonquinette, are you telling me that you have sex with men and don’t remember it?”
“That’s the really crazy part, Dr. Spencer.”
“Please, call me Marcella.”
“Marcella, I’ve never been with a man. I’ve never had sex but—”
“But?”
“Somehow I managed to break my hymen and even contract one venereal disease.”
“How do you know that?”
“An OB/GYN told me. My freshman year in college something happened to me. I had gone to the library one day to study and I somehow blacked out. Afterward I went to the campus clinic because I was sore down there and I didn’t know why.”
“And this has been happening ever since then?”
“Yes, it has.”
Admitting it caused an instant breakdown. I grabbed hold of Marcella’s arm and began to cry. I buried my head into her chest; She wrapped her other arm around me.
“I’m so afraid,” I whimpered. “What’s wrong with me? Am I really insane?”
“No, I don’t think you’re insane,” she said reassuringly. “If you were insane, you wouldn’t have sought me out to help you. And I will help you, Jonquinette. I promise you that.”
9
jude
Jon had lost her fucking mind. I couldn’t believe she went up there and told that bitch all of our fucking business. She was going to have to pay for that. And promising that doctor chick that she’d let her continue to help? Not as long as there was one breath left in my body.
To top things off, Jon had the nerve to leave there and go to the grocery store. She knew how much I hated the grocery store. Nothing but a bunch of bratty-ass kids begging their parents for candy, sugar-infested juices, or salty foods.
When I took over, we were walking down the pasta aisle. Of course, there was a hard-headed chap blocking the way. I jerked my cart toward him but he didn’t budge. Just glared at me and rolled his eyes. His mother was picking out a box of elbow macaroni.
“Ahem, could you tell your kid to move the hell out my way,” I lashed out at her.
She snickered like she couldn’t believe I’d actually said that.
“Are you going to move him or should I just knock his ass over with my cart?”
She grabbed her son by the shoulders and pulled him aside. “Move over here, David.” She leered at me. “You don’t have to be so rude, miss. He’s just a child.”
I picked up the nearest jar of spaghetti sauce and smashed it on the floor. I leaned down and picked up the lid. There was shattered glass attached to it. I held it up and she hauled ass with her kid in tow. I laughed. That’s what she gets, fucking with me.
I smashed a few more jars to get rid of some of the anger Jon had stirred up in me by telling our business. By the time I turned the corner, one of the store managers was rushing to see about the noise.
“You need a cleanup on aisle five,” I told him. “Some bratty kid was pitching a fit and his mother allowed him to have a tantrum. If I were you, I’d make them pay for it. It makes no sense.”
He shook his head in dismay. “I don’t know what’s wrong with kids these days.”
“Me either. If you hurry, you might be able to catch them up by the registers. She has on this horrid pastel dress and he has on a Teletubbies tee.”