chapter
five
Things were going great between Jason and me. Just think! My soulmate had been staring me in the face all those years without me even suspecting it.
I was still completely devastated over my father’s death—Lawd knows no one and nothing could ever take his place. Jason helped me through it, though. We spent every second we could spare together. After school, we did our homework together unless Jason had practice. If he did, I would sit in the bleachers and wait for him.
Chandler couldn’t stand me being there. As far as I was concerned, that was her personal problem. I’m surprised her eyes didn’t end up permanently crossed from rolling them back and forth in her head at me so damn much. A couple of times, she almost fell flat on her ass during cheerleading practice because she was so busy trying to diss me.
Meanwhile, Mohammed was still trying. I have to give it to the brotha. He didn’t give up on love easily. I tried to hook him up with Brina, but she wasn’t even having it. She’d developed this massive crush on Cordell. I used to beg Jason to sweat him about asking her out.
On occasion, we would all hang out together at the mall or the ice-skating rink in the Omni International Hotel. I hate the fact they closed the rink down some years ago. I would love for Jason and me to take the kids there and reminisce about the good old days.
Cordell and Brina did eventually hit it off, thank goodness—she was getting on my last nerve worrying about who else he might possibly like.
I hated it when Jason traveled to away games, because I didn’t have any way to tag along. I thought about pleading my way onto the cheerleading squad, even though I had no interest in it, just so I could be with him.
I wanted to take things further, but Jason was content with kissing and grinding with our clothes on. That night on the porch, I just knew he was experienced. He fooled my ass but good. Part of me was elated because that meant Chandler couldn’t throw having sex with him up in my face.
I was growing more and more frustrated. The more Jason refused my sexual advances, the more obsessed I became with getting him to go all the way. He would let the kissing get hot and heavy, and then just get up and leave me panting despondently on the couch.
I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. Most boys his age were all about trying to get some so they could brag about it to their friends—but not Jason. He wasn’t having any part of climbing up inside my sugary walls.
I was willing to deal with it, yearning coochie and all, until Brina called me up on the phone after 1 A.M. one Saturday night.
“Brina, why are you calling me so late?” I whispered into the handset, trying not to rouse my mother. “My mother will have a fit if she wakes up.”
“That’s what you have your own phone line for, doofus!”
She laughed, but I didn’t see a damn thing funny. “Brina, what is it? Is something wrong, Sis? Is it your mother?”
“No, she isn’t even here,” Brina replied sarcastically. “She’s probably sitting on a barstool somewhere rapping to one of those ugly-ass men she keeps bringing up in here.”
I didn’t know what to say about that one, so I changed the subject. “Well, what’s wrong, then?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Zoe,” she chuckled. “In fact, everything is just spantacular.”
I sat up and turned on the lamp on my nightstand. “Okay, now that I’m completely lost, care to enlighten me?”
“We did it!” she screamed in my ear.
“Did what, dammit?”
“Cordell and I did the nasty! The wild thing! The hoochie-coochie!”
“Uh-uh, you’re lying!” I yelled out, no longer caring about waking my mother up. “Tell me you’re lying! Confess!”
“Sheit, I’m not lying,” she giggled. “We did it, and it was goooooooood!”
“You and Cordell had sex?” I was finding this shit hard to comprehend. Jason and I had been together for months and had never even gotten naked. Here this chica was calling me up braggin’ on dick, and they had only been dating a couple of weeks.
“Boy, did we!”
“I have to go, Brina!” I can’t describe my feelings, but I was hurt and didn’t feel like talking anymore.
“Zoe, wait! I want to tell you all the details! Blow by blow, or should I say lick by lick!”
That did it! “Brina, I’ll call you tomorrow! Later!”